Worst Jokes Ever
So, I’m not sure if it’s a joke, but I thought it was funny. So imagine you try to die by shooting yourself, but you sneeze and pull the trigger... I don't know about you, but I would’ve been mad. Because wtf, I wasn’t readyyyy!
What is the Harry Potter spell that aborts babies?
Fetus Deletus!
When I grow up, I wanna be like Lil Peep... Dead.
Grammar: It's the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.
What did the mentally retarded kid get on his test?
Drool.
What do you call a feminine cow?
A dairy queen.
My friend was a victim of a school shooting once, but he couldn't tell if they were in the library because of the suppressor on his AR.
Why did the strawberry cry? -- Because his mother was in a jam.
I was sitting with my little brother when he was about four-ish. He was starting to really like to identify objects for some reason, so he was showing me his toys. He grabbed his toy Mator truck and then pointed to the wheels, saying, “These are wheels.” I said, “Good job, yes they are.” Then he pointed to the bumper and said, “This is a bumper.” Again, I congratulated him. Then, he grabbed the toy’s wire with the hook at the end and said, “And this is a hooker.” I died laughing.
Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he isn't coming to you.
What's the difference between a school bus and my Dad's van?
School buses usually don't have screaming and crying children.
Stop with the blind jokes... I don't see the point.
Which sex position produces the ugliest children?
Go ask your mother.
How does the man on the moon cut his hair?
Eclipses it!
A man tried to shoot Adolf Hitler, but missed. Then Adolf replied, "Oh shoot, I did nazi that coming!"
Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related.
A white dad, a priest, and a rabbi all run out a burning school, and the dad says, “What about the kids?” and the rabbi replies to him saying, “Fuck the kids,” and the priest says, “Think we got enough time?”
I started a band called 999 megabytes... we still haven't gotten a gig.
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says "leave motherf*cker".