Worst Jokes Ever
What's the cheapest kind of meat you can buy?
Deer balls. They're under a buck.
A German went to France for a holiday, and here is the scene. French border staff asked, "Occupation?" The German replied, "No, no, no, just visiting."
A prisoner was told how he'll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.
One day, little Billy came in, pulling up his pants. The teacher asks, "Where have you been, Billy?" He says, "On top of Beverly Hill." A few minutes later, little Willy came in. The teacher asked, "Where have you been?" He says, "On top of Beverly Hill." Ten minutes later, little Johnny came in. The teacher says again, "Where have you been?" He says, "On top of Beverly Hill." A few minutes later, a girl came in. The teacher says, "Who are you?" She says, "I'm Beverly Hill."
How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
I like my girls how I like my wine, 12 years locked in the basement.
My aunt's star sign was Cancer, pretty ironic how she died.
She was eaten by a giant crab.
Helen Keller walked into a bar, and a chair, and a table, and a wall.
A friend asked me, "Where are you going?"
I answered, "6 feet underground."
Me and a person downtown.
Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night.
Me: I guess so.
Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this?
Me: I don't know. I used to, but don't anymore.
Person: Why'd you stop?
Me: Unfortunately, I lived every time I'd try something.
Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages?
Because there were too many knights.
Why do Native Americans hate snow?
Because it's white and settles on their land.
What's the difference between a school and an ISIS military base? Don't ask me, I only fly the drone.
An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first?
The apple, because the emo kid got caught by the rope.
A man walks into a bar with an alligator and a stick. He walks up to the bartender and offers to put on a show for the bar's patrons in exchange for a drink. The bartender agrees, so he pulls down his pants, sticks his dick in the alligator's mouth, and starts whacking it with the stick. After he's done and gets his drink, he asks if anyone else would like a go.
A lady gets up and says yes, she would like a go, asks that he doesn't hit her with the stick.
A dyslexic man walked into a bra.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house? No, he hasn't either.
I caught my girlfriend cheating on me, with our dad.
Will glass coffins be a success? -- Remains to be seen.
It sucks that Stephen Hawking died so soon, the new Intel update just came out.