Worst Jokes Ever
Why can't orphans play Monopoly?
Because they never get a full house.
The terrorists got a killstreak of 2,996; they are popping off, bro.
Why is my plane delayed?
Because someone hit the Sears Tower.
Q: If a cat says to a dog, "All dogs are liars," and the dog says to the cat, "All cats are liars," what does it mean?
A: It means cats and dogs can talk.
Why are orphans so scared of the dark?
The dad can't check the closet for them.
What is this website?
"Oh, hey guys, do you know I saw a guy with dementia?"
"Oh, hey guys, do you know I saw a guy with dementia?"
"Oh, hey, do you know I saw a guy with dementia?"
Where do depressed people go to eat?
Suicide Sonic.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Condensed.
Condensed who?
Condensed milk.
Q. What's the difference between my phone battery and an anti-vax kid?
A. Nothing, they both die at ten.
A man comes into the pharmacy to get a flu shot. The pharmacy nurse prepares one of the shots. The man gets the shot, and the nurse cleans the shot area.
The next day, the man comes back and gets another shot. Before he paid, the nurse said, “Don’t you realize if you get another shot you may die from overdose?” The man said, “Don’t you realize if you don’t shut up I’ll give you a shot of lead?” The nurse got scared and quit her job.
The nurse was relaxing, looking for a vacation to book, when all of a sudden she hears an odd noise. It sounds like someone cocking a gun. The man was hiding behind the nurses bushes. “In return for you giving me shots, here are yours,” said the man as he was chuckling like a psycho. The man shot the nurse in the leg so she couldn’t escape, then he shot her left hand, which is the lady’s dominant hand, so she couldn’t call the cops. For the finishing move, the man curb stomped the fucking life out of her until her head was as flat as paper.
9 years later......
All along, this man, this psycho, escaped a mental hospital. He went on mass genocide, killing 20,000 people in just 3 years. This man is more than human, more than alien, more than god himself. It was Satan reborn.
The more downvotes it has, the better the joke.
Orphans don't have parents!!1! ahahahaha ahahaha plz like and subscribe and hit that bell icon #logang #imagamerpersonwedontfuckwiththegenderbinary #wedontfuckingeneral #nofilter #rememberifyousubscribethenisubscribeback
Want to hear a pencil joke?
Never mind, it’s pointless.
What hype is this place out? Is it for the night? You cannot say what is a great night. I have a good night.
Are you a printer? Because you turn my soft copy into a hard copy. Dark..Humor :)
How did they lose 2 Towers?
Reason: They just fell, just like how it did in Jenga.
(I d*n't care if it's a bad joke, ok?)
What takes knowledge to do and also takes knowledge away?
Looking down the barrel and pulling the trigger. 😂
What did the blender say to the orange juice?
"What the fuck are you, you are so fucking stupid, shut the fuck up."
Why can't orphans convert to Catholicism?
Because Catholics believe in no sex before marriage.