Worst Jokes Ever
Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano?
Neither has he.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
Head, shoulders, screws, and bolts.
Yo mama so fat Thanos had to clap.
What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam.
What did the other fish say to that fish when he hit the wall? Dumb Bass.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it had its ion someone else.
When you lose a game of Kahoot, so you kashoot up the school.
People say that life is short.
I say... life is the longest thing we ever do.
Why do feminists believe that they can act like a bitch towards men if they want to? Because they were born without a penis.
Do you want to know why they call it an orphanage? Because they couldn't call it orphans home.
Why did the Secret Service detain Johnny Depp at the White House?
Because he was about to kick the cabinet.
I was asked at school to draw a line across the paper, but instead I showed them my wrists.
What do you call a dad in the mirror?
(Your imagination.)
What do you call it when a friend calms his suicidal friend? "Hang in there, buddy."
A preacher was selling a horse. A cowboy decided to buy the horse. The preacher told the cowboy to make the horse go, to say "Thank God" and to stop the horse, to say "Hallelujah". The cowboy then rode off into the sunset until he came upon a cliff, searching his memory he yelled "Hallelujah" and the horse stopped just before going off the cliff. Then the cowboy said "Thank God".
Why is Santa always so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
A little boy decided to burn a house down. The father put his arm around his wife, tears in his eyes, saying, "That's arson."
What do you say after committing incest?
No Chromo!
In Saudi Arabia, our pick up lines are, "Girl, are you a terrorist? Cuz you da bomb."
Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly, the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course.
The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, "I'll tell you about what you saw yesterday. You know, Dad has a big belly, and that's why Mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat." The little boy says, "But Mama, that does not make any difference." "Oh no?" the mom asks. "No," says the little boy, "When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and she blows his belly up again!"
What is an Emo’s favourite music element?
Self harmony.