Worst Jokes Ever
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
Why was Tickle Me Elmo upset when he left the factory?
Because they only gave him one test tickle.
Hey, are you a terrorist? 'Cause I rate you 9/11.
The little camel asks his mother: "Mum, why do we have these big humps?"
"Because in these humps there is some water, and in the hot desert we can drink."
"And Mum, why do we have this large fur?"
"Because the desert at night is so cold, and then we don’t feel cold."
"And Mum, why do we got these big hoofs?"
"Because the desert sand is hot, and the hoofs save us from the hot sand."
"But Mum, what the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?"
*School shooting happens.*
Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk.*
American student: "First time?"
Foreign exchange student: "Yeah, you?"
American student: "Hahaha. No, not my first time."
What's the Pixar movie close to being a pornstar? Toy Story... *I got a friend in me*
What do orphans call their parents?
Unicorns because they don’t exist.
I am an actual police officer (Not gonna mention with which department in case they actually check this site) and tbh I find these jokes funny as fuck, carry on boys.
Keep the planet clean. It's not Uranus.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
Apples get picked.
My favorite joke: My life.
My teacher asked everyone how tall their grandparents were. I responded, "My grandpa is 5ft 10, and my grandma is -6ft."
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack, then sell it again.
What’s the difference between a zit and a catholic priest?
A zit waits till you’re 13 to come on your face
Why did the basketball player not get on the bus?
Because he couldn’t be caught travelling! 😂
I piss on blind kids and tell them it's raining.
Yesterday I wanted to look up the term "procrastination".
I swear, I'll do it tomorrow.
Why did the orphan become a criminal? It wants to be wanted.
Why are orphans good at being a criminal?
Because they're not wanted.
Do you know how a dragon is? You don't know who? It's dragging these 2-liter balls across your pathetic face and slamming it into a f*cking dumpster you regret.