Worst Jokes Ever

Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense. Baby, we didn’t spend all that time in the closet for nothing.

Did you hear about the school shooting joke? Well, I won't tell you it's aimed at a younger audience.

A boy and his mother survived a car crash.

The boy asks his mother, "Was that like how I was born? A hard smash?" The mother replies with "More like an accident."

Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?

Because they're always coming out of the closet.

*on a date*

me - "I get to work with animals all day."

her - "How sweet! What do you do?"

me - "I'm a butcher."

Cousins on the streets means lovers in the sheets. 😂👀

Last night, I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!

Your hairline is so far back, it left before your dad.

An emo texted a tree, "Wanna hang out?"

The tree ghosted her.

911 jokes are just plane wrong, my dad was a great pilot you know.

This joke probably flew over people's heads, but for some people it flew into their head.

My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.

My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire

Your forehead is so big, Megamind thought you were his brother.

Any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery.

What did one nut say to the other? Ignore the guy in the middle. He's a d!ck.

Why did God make pigs before politicians?

He just needed some practice.

Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?" The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."

Roses are dead, violets are dead. I am a bad gardener.

I went on a walk last night with a really hot girl. Then she noticed me, and we went for a run.

Teacher: Describe a penguin.

Student: Black, white, beak.

Teacher: Good, now describe an orphan.

Student: Sad, maybe depressed, no family.

Teacher: Amazing, now describe a cow.

Student: Brown bun hair, red shirt, white skirt, pantyhose, and dollar tree shoes.

Teacher: No! How does that describe a cow?

Student: It describes you tho.