Worst Jokes Ever
Miss Drake, can I go to the bathroom? I need to piss.
"Billy, we don't say piss. We say urinate. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Miss Drake."
"Very well. Now use the word urinate in a sentence."
"Miss Drake, urinate, but if you had any tits you'd be a ten."
Have you heard about the movie "Constipation"?
No, because it never came out...
What's the difference between a porn star and a mosquito?
One stops sucking when you smack it.
The couple next door made a porn film.
They don’t know it yet.
Why did an orphan have s**? To have someone to call daddy.
Singing in the shower is fun, until you get soap in your mouth.
Then it's a soap opera.
What was Stephen Hawking's last meal?
Meals on wheels.
Can I put my balls in your jaws?
What are Russia's favorite netball positions?
Goal Shooter and Wing Attack.
Q: What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
A: Throw in some laundry.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ligma.
Ligma who?
Ligma balls!
What color is your Bugatti?
Police Report: Looking for a female, light brown hair, blue eyes, freckles, and a small scar on her right check.
Last seen on CCTV wearing see-through bottoms, a pink top, and a vibrating dildo hanging out of her arse. If you find this woman, please get her to charge the dildo for excessive fun.
What did the blonde say when I told a rape joke?
"Can you show me what rape is?"
What do you call it when an Arab girl has an abortion?
Removing a bomb.
If it does more than pee, it's too old for me!
Yo mama so slow, she took nine months to make the joke. Thank god mine only took 6.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
My name is Dan, I wear white Vans, I have a gun, get in the van!
Girlfriend: You remind me of a cellphone.
Ex-Boyfriend: How and why?
Girlfriend: Because you're about to die!