Worst Jokes Ever
Roses are red, violets are blue.
Shrek is ugly, but not uglier than you.
Today I saw a little boy wearing rags sitting on a curb. I said, "Awww, are you an orphan?" He said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
I want to die in my sleep, like grandpa did, not screaming and crying like the people on the bus he drove.
Why can't an orphan sign up for adoption websites?
Parental Login: __________
What made you suddenly lose interest in someone you were pursuing?
When I found out they liked me back. Not interested in someone with poor judgment.
Why were glow-in-the-dark condoms made?
To play Star Wars.
What's a pedophile's favorite fast food meal?
In-N-Out of kids.
Hey girl, are you suicide? 'Cause I think of you everyday.
Why can't England play chess? Because they lost their queen!
Why is Russia invading Ukraine?
«Мы хотим вернуть Советский Союз!»
A 28 year old woman, Olga, in Meshchovsk, Russia took justice into her own hands when a 32 year old male robber, Viktor, decided to rob her salon. She tied him, feeding him only Viagra, having sex with him over and over. After a few days, she released him after he stated he learned his lesson and wouldn't go to the police. He lied and went to the police anyways. Both were arrested.
After his sentence was over, Viktor sat down to speak to the local news. The reporter asked Viktor, "How was this whole ordeal?" Viktor replied, "I've had better."
I gave an orphan an iPhone X for a reason.
It doesn’t have a home button.
What is a blind person's favorite color?
Black.
Looking in the mirror, I don’t need a therapist, god damn, I wanna be a terrorist.
If you run next to a car, you get tired, but if you run behind it, you get exhausted.
I'll be here all week... sadly enough for you.
big booty latinas.
You're so fat, when you went on the scale it said "to be continued."
Miss Drake, can I go to the bathroom? I need to piss.
"Billy, we don't say piss. We say urinate. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Miss Drake."
"Very well. Now use the word urinate in a sentence."
"Miss Drake, urinate, but if you had any tits you'd be a ten."
Why isn't the Moon Emo anymore?
Turns out it was just a phase.
What's the difference between a porn star and a mosquito?
One stops sucking when you smack it.