Why did Hitler never go to a strip club?
He hated the Poles.
Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between flat earthers and my grandfather? Flat earthers are more disconnected from reality than my grandfather is disconnected from his life support.
Why is it best to date suicidal women? Because if there's no pulse, there's no need for consent.
Technoblade be doing skyblock in heaven now.
Girl: Daddy, I've been a bad girl.
Priest: For the last time, it's "Father, I have sinned."
How did they figure out what kind of shampoo Paul Walker used? They found his “head and shoulders” in the dash.
Me: Are you an orphan?
Boy: Yeah, what gave me away?
Me: ....ur parents.
What do you call a prostitute with a major in math?
The thot that counts.
I had a huge crush on this girl when I was eight. One recess we met together on the playground, and she brought me to the corner of the playground. That was my first kiss, and from there it got serious. I told my parents a week later and they freaked out, called the police, and they arrested my crush. I miss Mrs. Johnson.
My favorite sex position is ‘WOW.’ It's where I flip your mom upside down.
Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don't C#.
After 40 years, Kobe finally learned to pass.
Q: What's stronger than family?
A: Whatever tree Paul Walker hit.
Why can orphans not go on field trips? They need a parent signature.
I got raped by my therapist... now I know where the name comes from!
Hellen Keller walked into a bar... then a table... then a chair.
If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... That'll give you a reason to get up in the morning.
Yo mama so fat, I stood next to her and lost cell phone reception.
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence." Anybody relate?
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
Neither can see their parents.
