Worst Jokes Ever
Why do dolphins live in salt water?
Because pepper water would make them sneeze!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apples get picked. Orphans don't.
I called an Asian person and asked, 'Is this Mister Wing?' 'No.'
I called once more and asked, 'Is this Mister Wong?' 'No.'
I guess I 'winged the Wong number.'
What's the difference between a grenade and your wife? There's none. Take out the ring and half of the house is gone.
What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Corvette in my garage.
Why was Santa happy?
Because he had 3 hoes.
Yo mama so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.
A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs.
He asks her why she is crying, and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her, then jogs away.
The next day, he finds her crying again, and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.
On the third day, the man sees her crying and asks her thrice. She tells him she has never been fucked. The man picks her up and throws her in the pond, telling her, "You're fucked now!"
Your ma is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.
What do women and KFC have in common?
After you get done with the thighs and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
My friend asked me if I wanted to hang out by the tree later. I said, "Yeah, I was gonna hang there."
In his dream, some people gave the Hodja nine gold coins, but Hodja wanted ten. So he refused them. Suddenly, he awoke and saw that his hands were empty. So, he quickly closed his eyes again and said, "It's okay, I'll take the nine coins."
Why did the priest invent baptism?
To wash their sex toys.
Student: A plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left?
Teacher: 203
Student: How do you put an elephant in the fridge?
Teacher: You can't.
Student: Yes, you can. Open the fridge door, put the elephant in.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: Open the door, put in the giraffe?
Student: No, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe.
The Lion King is having a party, who isn't there?
Teacher: Let me guess, the lion.
Student: No, the giraffe, he's stuck in a fridge.
Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how?
Teacher: She stepped on the alligators?
Student: No, the alligators are at the party.
Sally dies anyway, how?
Teacher: She frowned?
Student: No, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.
Why were the twin towers mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but instead they got plain.
What's the difference between an emo and my clothes?
My clothes don't hang themselves.
What do you call an orphan taking a picture?
A family portrait.
John
Why did God build a stairway to heaven?
So all the disabled people will have to go to hell.
What’s the difference between air and a six year old?
Air has resistance.