Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between a joke and the Twin Towers? People don't laugh at my jokes.
A block of gold walked into a bar. The bartender said, “AU, get out!”
Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.
An attractive man and a blonde meet in an elevator.
"Where are you heading today?" the man asks.
"I'm going down to give blood."
"How much do you get paid for giving blood?"
"About $30."
"Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100."
The woman, slightly annoyed, gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again.
"Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?"
"Sperm bank," she mumbles with her mouth full.
What would an orphan priest call himself?
Father Les.
I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would just crash and burn.
"Most Deadly Sport"
Playing chicken with a train!
So the other day, I saw a child in a wheelchair.
He was getting bullied a lot, so I came up and said, "Why don't you stand up to those bullies?"
Do you guys know how to make a hoe in Minecraft?
You pick it up off the street.
What do you call an ex eating Taco Bell?
Explosion.
Dyslexic man walks into a bra.
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never eat anything that is family size.
A nucleus walked into a bar. He asked the bartender, “How much for a drink?” The bartender replied, “For you, NO CHARGE!”
How do mountains see? They peek.
I would tell a dad joke, but it already left me.
I called an Asian person and asked, 'Is this Mister Wing?' 'No.'
I called once more and asked, 'Is this Mister Wong?' 'No.'
I guess I 'winged the Wong number.'
What's the difference between a grenade and your wife? There's none. Take out the ring and half of the house is gone.
Three children play hide and seek. Their names are Silence, Anger, and Parent. Anger counts. Parent hides in the trash. Silence is at the police station.
A policeman looks at Silence and asks: "What is your name?" Silence replies: "Silence." Terrified, the policeman asks: "Where are your parents?" Silence then replies: "Parent is in the trash!" The policeman then asks indignantly: "Are you looking for Trouble?" Silence replies: "No, in fact, Anger finds me."
In his dream, some people gave the Hodja nine gold coins, but Hodja wanted ten. So he refused them. Suddenly, he awoke and saw that his hands were empty. So, he quickly closed his eyes again and said, "It's okay, I'll take the nine coins."
Pick a number, syckkkkkkk, that’s the wrong number.