Worst Jokes Ever

Donald: "If I lose this election, I will leave the country."

Joe: "Bi den"

In preschool, I confessed my love to my crush, and she rejected me. As heartbroken as I was, I sucked it up and went back to teaching.

Why do emos like yo-yo's? Cos they get strangled by the string.

So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.

You can beat up orphans, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Why were the twin towers sad?

Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.

This boy in my high school choir class had a decently big forehead, so I leaned in and said, "You know, if you painted an H on your forehead, maybe Kobe would've landed."

Why do orphans bully people?

Because they can't get suspended.

Contact Parent _______

What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?

A Kinder Surprise egg.

I got the newest Call of Duty game! I got a 200 kill streak, then I went home and played COD.

What does Kim Kardashian and the ocean have in common?

They both have plastic in them.

What's the best thing about Alzheimer's?

You can hide your own Easter Eggs!

Your mum is so bad at cooking, Gordon Ramsey brought back Hitler to show her how to use an oven.

What's yellow and can't swim?

A dead goldfish.

Ok, there has to be SOMEONE on this website right now. Whoever that is, wanna chat? (I'm just bored)

Q) What do you call Iron Man when he can't swim?

A) Robert Drowney Jr.

What’s the difference between an Indian and Jewish person?

An Indian person is burnt after death.

How do you name a disabled Asian?

Throw the wheelchair down the stairs.

You ever hear of a reverse exorcism?

It's where the devil tells the priest to get out of the child.

An orphan goes to a doctor.

Doctor: "Sorry, I can't help you."

Orphan: "But why?"

Doctor: "I'm a family doctor."