Worst Jokes Ever
Is it necrophilia if they die while you're having sex and you just don't realize?
That's what happened to my dog.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A dead goldfish.
What’s the difference between an Indian and Jewish person?
An Indian person is burnt after death.
Police arrested two kids yesterday. One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one, and let the other one off.
What's the only good thing about being an orphan?
All snacks are family sized!
An orphan goes to a doctor.
Doctor: "Sorry, I can't help you."
Orphan: "But why?"
Doctor: "I'm a family doctor."
Q: Who are the fastest readers? A: Twin Tower victims, they got 80 stories in ten seconds.
I saw an emo orphan by a tree, and I was going to give it a high-five, but instead I just let it hang.
Why is there air conditioning in hospitals? To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.
What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?
I wanna sock you in the eye so bad!
What's the difference between a good TV show and a gay man?
One makes your day and one makes your whole week.
I stopped a terrorist from killing 100 people on a plane using self-control.
Why do orphans love drinking water? Because they have no milk to drink!
How do you name a disabled Asian?
Throw the wheelchair down the stairs.
Why did the clown fall off his bike?
Because the neighbor threw a washing machine at him.
How is baseball like cake?
They both need batters.
What did Cinderella say when she sat on Pinocchio? "Lie to me."
Kid: Mom! You lied to me!
Mom: When?
Kid: You told me that my little brother was an Angel!
Mom: Sooo?
Kid: Then why didn’t he fly when I threw him off the balcony?
Mom: WHAT!!!??!!
You: “Knock knock.” Person: “Who’s there?” You: “Leaf.” Person: “Leaf who?” You: “Leaf this house!”
*Apple bottom jeans plays*
What flour do you give an orphan?
Self-raising.