Worst Jokes Ever

Why was Tickle Me Elmo upset when he left the factory?

Because they only gave him one test tickle.

China is as fake as bitches with plastic surgery, and they talk about body positivity.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

What's the Pixar movie close to being a pornstar? Toy Story... *I got a friend in me*

What do orphans call their parents?

Unicorns because they don’t exist.

I am an actual police officer (Not gonna mention with which department in case they actually check this site) and tbh I find these jokes funny as fuck, carry on boys.

Keep the planet clean. It's not Uranus.

Why can't an orphan sign up for adoption websites?

Parental Login: __________

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?

Apples get picked.

My favorite joke: My life.

My teacher asked everyone how tall their grandparents were. I responded, "My grandpa is 5ft 10, and my grandma is -6ft."

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

A hooker can wash her crack, then sell it again.

What’s the difference between a zit and a catholic priest?

A zit waits till you’re 13 to come on your face

I arrived at work and saw a kid crying. I walked up to the kid and asked, "Hey, where are your parents?" and the kid just cried more. God, I love working at an orphanage.

Why did the basketball player not get on the bus?

Because he couldn’t be caught travelling! 😂

Kid: Mom! You lied to me!

Mom: When?

Kid: You told me that my little brother was an Angel!

Mom: Sooo?

Kid: Then why didn’t he fly when I threw him off the balcony?

Mom: WHAT!!!??!!

Why did the orphan become a criminal? It wants to be wanted.

Why'd the orphan cross the road? He was told his parents were on the other side.

Do you know how a dragon is? You don't know who? It's dragging these 2-liter balls across your pathetic face and slamming it into a f*cking dumpster you regret.

Today I saw a little boy wearing rags sitting on a curb. I said, "Awww, are you an orphan?" He said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."