Worst Jokes Ever
Mom: Please eat, baby!
Baby: No!
Mom: Here comes the airplane!
Why didn't the doctor help the orphan?
Because he was a family doctor!
What’s a German’s favorite drink? Orange Jews. Hundred percent concentrated.
I got written up on "Take Your Daughter To Work Day." Apparently, it only applies to daughters who are alive.
Q: Why did Little Johnny drop his ice cream?
A: Because he got hit by a bus.
Why are the Twin Towers mad?
They are like pepperoni and cheese as a plane.
"That driving backwards, it creeping me out, you're gonna wreck or something." - Lightning McQueen.
Because that is what could have saved Titanic, and it wrecked.
Your hairline is so back when the police saw it, they had to arrest you.
"Hey, man, do you have any Ben and Jerry's?"
"Yeah, I have two of them, fresh and preserved in the freezer."
"I meant the ice cream, bro..."
What do you call emo kids that are depressed... suicide squad?
In the cute fantasies: "Est-ce que tu manges du poulet? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN!!!!!"
In reality: "Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!"
Guys, stop joking about 9/11. It's just plane wrong.
What Lord of the Rings book is banned from the United States?
The Two Towers.
Why did Hitler's cookies taste bad? He forgot to clean out the oven.
Sally had 9 pounds of boobs (9), which was 2 2 many (922), so on the 9th of the month (9229) at 6pm (92296) on 68 street (922968), she went to doctor x to get 6 operations (922968x6) and left her (flip your calculator) boobless.
I want to di... dive! Yeah!
If you're ever frustrated, just punch them in the face. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What do you call a retard that got hit by a car? Mashed potatoes.
What is an Emo's favorite hobby?
Hanging in.
I think your hairline is too stupid.