Worst Jokes Ever
Where does the orphan go when he's done with school? To the cemetery.
What's an orphan's favorite movie? Spiderman: No Way Home.
I was tickling my step brother's balls, and then it hit me: why is he laughing?
What do you call an apple that fell out of the tree?
An orphan.
A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!”
What's a ninja's favorite type of shoes?
Sneakers.
One dark stormy night when I was 8 years old, I woke up in the middle of the night busting to pee. Half asleep, I walked down the stairs and toward the bathroom and heard a strange whirring sound that sounded like a ghost. When I opened the door, I felt a strange cool breeze and the light came on automatically, and the ghostly sound stopped. Terrified, I did what I had to and went back to bed.
The next 3 nights, the same thing happened, and finally, I decided I had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. The next night I woke up, I went into my parents' room and woke my mom up and said, "You have to come with me and see this, it's really important." Half asleep, she murmured, "Oh, what is it? Can't it wait until the morning?" I pleaded, "No, you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost. When I go in the middle of the night, I can hear a ghost sound. Then when I open the door, I feel the cold as it swoops through me, and the light comes on automatically." She yawned and said, "Oh, so that's who's been peeing in the refrigerator."
A Sunday school teacher asked her children on the way to service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.
Let's play carpenter. First, we'll get hammered, then I'll nail you.
Are you a pirate? Because I have a lot of seamen waiting for you 😉
What do you call two female lovers spying on the government?
Lesbionage.
Why can’t orphans go on school trips?
They need a parent signature.
You look good with anything, but nothing works too.
What’s the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A whore sleeps with everyone at the party. A bitch sleeps with everyone at the party—except you.
yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale it told her "I wanted your weight not your phone number."
Why do trans women make the best golf course grounds staff?
They’re enthusiastic about getting rid of unwanted balls.
How many gay guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one... But it takes the entire emergency room to take it out.
I have some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through something so small?"