Worst Jokes Ever
what do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
a family photo.
What do you call a suicide bomber under the water?
Answer: A bath bomb.
If things don't get better, the Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging.
So the teacher goes up to you and says, "I'm going to call your parents." Me: "Good luck finding them."
Why can’t kids at an orphanage play hide and seek?
Because no one’s looking for them.
Why do Asians have squinty eyes?
Because atomic bombs are pretty damn bright.
Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? - Everywhere.
Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a big forehead, and your hairline recedes too.
A guy is sitting at a bar when a drunk man walks up to him, calling his mom a whore. The guy just ignores it and stays in his spot drinking his beer. An hour goes by and the drunk man comes back saying, "Your mom is a whore!" The guy sitting looks around the bar, sees people staring and says, "Don't worry, everything is cool here," and shrugs it off. After a few more shots, the drunk man walks up a third time and says, "Your mom... is such... a whore!" The guy finally gets mad, throws his fist on the table and says, "You know what? Go home Dad!"
I banged a German chick one time. I tried anal and asked her to rate the experience. She kept yelling "9! 9! 9!"
Why do orphans wanna be a criminal?
So that they can be wanted.
Why did the fish cross the sea?
To get to the other tide! 😂 😂 😂
The difference between dark jokes and morbid is,
dark jokes are 10 babies in 1 trash can, and
morbid jokes are 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
Why are fish easy to measure?
Because they bring their own scales.
A good dog name is Syndrome. That way when it tries attacking, you can yell, "Down, Syndrome!"
A blind woman told me I had a big penis yesterday.
I think she was pulling my leg.
Despite my devilish attitude, I have the heart of a small boy.
I keep it in a jar on my desk.
Everyone: So, wait, let me get this straight. Feminists want to cancel Father's Day because it is offensive to single mothers.
Feminists: Correct.
Everyone: Then what the f*** is the point of Mother's Day?
What is a dry swimmer?
Not in the water...
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One is made of plastic and bad for kids; the other one holds shopping.