Worst Jokes Ever
What did the clock do when it was hungry? It went back four seconds.
What are Michael Jackson’s pronouns? He/heeeeeee.
What do you call a cleaning skeleton?
The Grim Sweeper.
What do you call two gay Irishmen?
Patrick Fitz Gerald, and Gerald Fitz Patrick.
What do you call two female lovers spying on the government?
Lesbionage.
Kobe Bryant never missed a shot.
But he nailed that mountain.
You have a six-minute timer to live, but when you breathe, it resets.
Serial murderer Ed Gein was famed for raping, killing, and skinning his victims.
When he was asked why he did it, he responded, "You don't know someone until you walk around in their skin."
Everyone: So, wait, let me get this straight. Feminists want to cancel Father's Day because it is offensive to single mothers.
Feminists: Correct.
Everyone: Then what the f*** is the point of Mother's Day?
Name an ant which is very heavy?
Eleph-ant.
What does the starship Enterprise & toilet paper have in common?
Answer: They both circle Ur-Anus looking for Kling-Ons!
At baseball practice...
"Hey John, did you bring the bucket of balls?"
"No, but I got two right here."
Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed.
Why do orphans love having sex?
Because they can finally call somebody "daddy."
What is red and goes 200 miles per hour?
A baby in a blender.
Are you suicide? Because you are always on my mind.
You know what an emo gets for his birthday? A rope.
Why didn't Logan Paul high five the Asian man? Because he loves to leave Asians hanging.
What part of the Earth does Helen Keller not have?
The sea.
Japanese people are so cool and organized, they have their own ways of suicide.