Worst Jokes Ever
Roses are red,
Violets are blue, I’d rather be single than with someone like you.
What do you call two gay Irishmen?
Patrick Fitz Gerald, and Gerald Fitz Patrick.
Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
How do parents punish a blind kid? They rearrange the furniture.
What do you call two female lovers spying on the government?
Lesbionage.
What did the clock do when it was hungry? It went back four seconds.
What are Michael Jackson’s pronouns? He/heeeeeee.
Your mom is so fat that when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed, but the sidewalk cracked up.
Who is the man behind all lives matter?
Michael Jackson.
Yo mama is so fat, she wakes up on both sides of the bed.
How to respond if someone starts looking at the photos on your phone.
Step 1: Jab your thumbs into their eye sockets.
What do you call a cleaning skeleton?
The Grim Sweeper.
So, there was this girl on the street that had no arms or legs, that said "Hey sir, I've never been fucked before, will you do the honors and fuck me?" So, I threw her in the ocean and said "Well, your fucked now."
You have a six-minute timer to live, but when you breathe, it resets.
Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed.
Serial murderer Ed Gein was famed for raping, killing, and skinning his victims.
When he was asked why he did it, he responded, "You don't know someone until you walk around in their skin."
Everyone: So, wait, let me get this straight. Feminists want to cancel Father's Day because it is offensive to single mothers.
Feminists: Correct.
Everyone: Then what the f*** is the point of Mother's Day?
Why do orphans love having sex?
Because they can finally call somebody "daddy."
Name an ant which is very heavy?
Eleph-ant.
What does the starship Enterprise & toilet paper have in common?
Answer: They both circle Ur-Anus looking for Kling-Ons!