Worst Jokes Ever

Theory is when you know everything but nothing works.

Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.

In our lab, theory and practice are combined: Nothing works and no one knows why.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue, I’d rather be single than with someone like you.

My wife said I have no sense of direction.

I said, "Where did that come from?"

Frank: "I am named Frank because my grandpa lived in Frankfurt during his best years."

Finley: "I am named Finley because my grandmother was in Finland during her early twenties!"

Mia: "Can we please change the subject?"

What do you call two gay Irishmen?

Patrick Fitz Gerald, and Gerald Fitz Patrick.

Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.

When my son was little, he loved to draw. Although he would always rip up the paper whenever there was one little slip up. Too bad he became a tattoo artist.....

Why is prostitution illegal?

Because when it comes to screwing people and taking their money, the government doesn't want anyone outperforming them.

How many gay guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just one... But it takes the entire emergency room to take it out.

Why can’t orphans go on school trips?

They need a parent signature.

You have a six-minute timer to live, but when you breathe, it resets.

Why do orphans love having sex?

Because they can finally call somebody "daddy."

Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?

Because she was stuffed.

Serial murderer Ed Gein was famed for raping, killing, and skinning his victims.

When he was asked why he did it, he responded, "You don't know someone until you walk around in their skin."

Name an ant which is very heavy?

Eleph-ant.

I don't like 9/11 jokes, they tend to crash and burn.

What does the starship Enterprise & toilet paper have in common?

Answer: They both circle Ur-Anus looking for Kling-Ons!

At baseball practice...

"Hey John, did you bring the bucket of balls?"

"No, but I got two right here."

Japanese people are so cool and organized, they have their own ways of suicide.

Are you suicide? Because you are always on my mind.