Worst Jokes Ever
My dad is so good at instruments, he said he loves to finger "a minor."
Why are orphans bad at poker?
Because they don't know what a full house is!
One dark stormy night when I was 8 years old, I woke up in the middle of the night busting to pee. Half asleep, I walked down the stairs and toward the bathroom and heard a strange whirring sound that sounded like a ghost. When I opened the door, I felt a strange cool breeze and the light came on automatically, and the ghostly sound stopped. Terrified, I did what I had to and went back to bed.
The next 3 nights, the same thing happened, and finally, I decided I had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. The next night I woke up, I went into my parents' room and woke my mom up and said, "You have to come with me and see this, it's really important." Half asleep, she murmured, "Oh, what is it? Can't it wait until the morning?" I pleaded, "No, you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost. When I go in the middle of the night, I can hear a ghost sound. Then when I open the door, I feel the cold as it swoops through me, and the light comes on automatically." She yawned and said, "Oh, so that's who's been peeing in the refrigerator."
Everyone has cracks in them, mine's just in my heart and not my ass.
The teacher asked the class what sound does a cow make? "Mooo," said Sally. "Good job," said the teacher. "What sound does a sheep make?" "Baa," said Jack. "Good, now what sound does a pig make?" Little Johnny raised his hand really high in the sky. The teacher called on him. He said, "The pig says, 'Get on the ground and put your hands on your head, you black motherfucker.'"
Is it normal my emo cousin's hobby is tying himself to train tracks?
What is it called when an orphan takes a family photo? A selfie.
When Michael Jackson died, people melted him down into Lego pieces so that little kids could play with him instead.
Who is the fastest reader? 9/11, it went through 10 stories in 7 seconds.
Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw the gas bill.
What do you call a spaceman’s willy?
A Shuttlecock!
I’ll never forget my father’s last words...
Oh fuck, it’s a bus!
What’s the difference between a Hispanic and a stoner?
A stoner has papers.
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me.
The world exploded, so now I need to visit Uranus.
What’s Mexico’s favorite sport?
Cross country.
What do you call an apartment full of Black people?
A crackhouse.
I never forget my grandpa's last words.
"Are you still holding the ladder?"
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last one to have a dream got shot. (Martin Luther King joke)
I recently learned that it's politically incorrect to talk about taking part in a school shooting.
Apparently the term "school photos" is more acceptable.