Worst Jokes Ever

What did the clock do when it was hungry? It went back four seconds.

What are Michael Jackson’s pronouns? He/heeeeeee.

Who is the man behind all lives matter?

Michael Jackson.

Yo mama is so fat, she wakes up on both sides of the bed.

How to respond if someone starts looking at the photos on your phone.

Step 1: Jab your thumbs into their eye sockets.

So, there was this girl on the street that had no arms or legs, that said "Hey sir, I've never been fucked before, will you do the honors and fuck me?" So, I threw her in the ocean and said "Well, your fucked now."

Kobe Bryant never missed a shot.

But he nailed that mountain.

Serial murderer Ed Gein was famed for raping, killing, and skinning his victims.

When he was asked why he did it, he responded, "You don't know someone until you walk around in their skin."

Everyone: So, wait, let me get this straight. Feminists want to cancel Father's Day because it is offensive to single mothers.

Feminists: Correct.

Everyone: Then what the f*** is the point of Mother's Day?

Name an ant which is very heavy?

Eleph-ant.

What does the starship Enterprise & toilet paper have in common?

Answer: They both circle Ur-Anus looking for Kling-Ons!

At baseball practice...

"Hey John, did you bring the bucket of balls?"

"No, but I got two right here."

You have a six-minute timer to live, but when you breathe, it resets.

Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?

Because she was stuffed.

Why do orphans love having sex?

Because they can finally call somebody "daddy."

Are you suicide? Because you are always on my mind.

You know what an emo gets for his birthday? A rope.

What is red and goes 200 miles per hour?

A baby in a blender.

Why didn't Logan Paul high five the Asian man? Because he loves to leave Asians hanging.

What part of the Earth does Helen Keller not have?

The sea.