Worst Jokes Ever
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizza and they got plain!
Old people kept saying "you're next" to me at weddings, so I started saying it to them at funerals.
What do you call two female lovers spying on the government?
Lesbionage.
Guys, stop making jokes about orphan's parents.
Who will be told? Oh wait.
After work, I volunteer to help blind children. Verb, not adjective.
What does an evil hen lay?
Deviled eggs! 😈🥚
A proud new dad sits down with his own father.
His father says, "Son, you now have a child of your own, so I think it's time I gave you this." And so, he pulls out a book: 1001 Dad Jokes.
The young man says, "Dad, I'm honored," as tears well up in his eyes.
His father says, "Hi, Honored, I'm Dad."
What goes Snap, Crackle, and Pop?
A neck.
I still remember my grandpa's last words; "Is that loaded?"
A priest and a nun are traveling across the desert on a camel, and when all of a sudden the camel dies. They’re in the middle of the desert with no hope of rescue when that night the priest thinks to himself that he can’t die a virgin. He looks over at the nun and pulls out his penis. The nun says, "Father, what is that?" He says, "This, sister, is the wand of life." The nun says, "Good, now go stick it in that camel's ass and let’s get the hell out of here!"
How did the Shaggy defense become successful for JD Vance?
He was not banging on the sofa. Rather, he was banging the sofa!
What's the difference between a baby and a sweet potato? About 140 calories.
An orphan's first word would be "orphan keeper."
Q. What walks through alleys and has a hole in it?
A. Batman's parents.
I hate it when disabled people get bullied...
... because they can't stand up for themselves.
A guy is sitting at a bar when a drunk man walks up to him, calling his mom a whore. The guy just ignores it and stays in his spot drinking his beer. An hour goes by and the drunk man comes back saying, "Your mom is a whore!" The guy sitting looks around the bar, sees people staring and says, "Don't worry, everything is cool here," and shrugs it off. After a few more shots, the drunk man walks up a third time and says, "Your mom... is such... a whore!" The guy finally gets mad, throws his fist on the table and says, "You know what? Go home Dad!"
Why do Asians have squinty eyes?
Because atomic bombs are pretty damn bright.
Why can’t kids at an orphanage play hide and seek?
Because no one’s looking for them.
Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? - Everywhere.
I banged a German chick one time. I tried anal and asked her to rate the experience. She kept yelling "9! 9! 9!"