Worst Jokes Ever
Why does Technoblade make orphan jokes?
'Cuz he's the Father!!!
My dad is Al-Qaeda, and he even took a plane trip to New York in 2001.
What's the difference between a million dollars and a million dead babies?
I don't have a million dollars laying around my house.
Gwen: Hi sir, how are you?
Tj: Good... you?
Gwen: I am super duper good! And where is your date? It seems like you need one 😉!
Tj: 😏.
Gwen: Here, this is your guest hall pass...you may...come in my friend!
Tj: Thanks but um, don't you think you should be um getting inside too?
Gwen: 🙁 No thanks sir but I have to work...I am the staff so bye! 😁.
Tj: NO!!!!!!
1 day later.
Gwen: 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤰🤰🤰👩👧👦
Sheila, the Aussie housewife, got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom floor. Instead of falling over forwards or backwards, she did the splits and suctioned cupped herself to the floor.
She yelled out for her husband, "Bruce! Bruce!" and he came running in. "Bruce, I’ve bloody suctioned myself to the floor!" she said.
"S’truth, Sheila!" Bruce said, and tried to pull her up. "You’re stuck fast girl. I’ll go across the road and get me mate Cobber."
They came back and they both tried to pull her up from the floor. "No way, we can’t do it!" Cobber said, "So let’s try Plan B."
"Plan B?" exclaimed Bruce, "What’s that?"
"I’ll go home and get me hammer and chisel and we’ll break the tiles under her," replied Cobber.
"Spot on!" Bruce said, "While you’re doing that, I’ll stay here and play with her nipples."
"Play with her nipples?" Cobber said, "Not exactly a good time for that mate!"
"No... " Bruce replied, "But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles are a lot cheaper."
One morning, Peppy and George came downstairs for breakfast, but they got a plate of juicy bacon. Their dad had recently gone missing, so they ate it quite sadly.
The next morning, they went to school and asked their teacher, "What is bacon made out of?" The teacher replied, "Pigs, why?" Peppa and George looked horrified.
How can Canada be one of the most educated countries when Canadians are unable to correctly spell "analyse", "programme", and "aluminium"?
"Can't go under it, can't go over it, we gotta go through it!"
What does the A stand for in "orphan, adopt" from the orphan company?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your parents :) so kawaii fr.
Boy: The F in orphan stands for family.
Orphan: But there’s no F in orphan.
Boy: Exactly!
TV Darth Vader: "I'm your father!"
Orphans: "Yea."
What is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.
Who are the fastest readers?
9/11 victims, they did 98 stories in 10 seconds.
I got a call from McDonald's; they want their sign back.
Orphans are like a trash can; they live outside.
Yo mama so fat, that when she fell I didn’t laugh, but damn that sidewalk cracked up. 👋
I must have at least 87 years of bad luck; every time I look in the mirror, it breaks!
Last night I had a dream about fishing poles, turns out it wasn't reel!
What do the Mafia and pussies have in common?
One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.