Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a fat, ugly, and hairy woman with a rape whistle? A feminist.
What do you call a family photo taken by an orphan?
A selfie.
What is gay - curious π€ π³
π¬ π¬ a gay man that is curious about experiencing sex with a π¨ π© π¨ bisexual man.
π¨ π¨ π© π² π² π² does it cycle now?
π² π² π²
π’ π sorry for your luck π― honey it sucks πͺ π π to be you.
I was joking about self-harm to my friend, and she told me to "CUT it out!" I couldn't even laugh.
When we were at the self-checkout, she started scanning my arms. I asked her what she was doing. She said, "Trying to see if it beeps, ya think I'd get it to work if I scanned your thighs?"
I said, "Nah, bro, you'd overload the system if you put it there."
The bushes outside got jealous after they saw your eyebrows.
Some say Stephen Hawking was a genius, but I never heard him say anything intelligent.
You know if you go to Wal-Mart, and go to the milk section, you might just find your dads.
If a heterosexual man wanted his dick sucked, what would a feminist say to him that a gay man would never say to him?
"Not now, I have a headache."
If you kill an orphan, would that count as a squad wipe?
What do you call a born-again heteroflexible male that is a Christian nationalist who thinks he is bisexual when the LGBT community knows that he is bicurious and that he is on steroids and that the LGBT community knows that he is not telling the truth about that? He is a gay man that is in the closet. He should be forced out of the closet by gay men in the LGBT community by any means necessary if gay men in the LGBT community still want to defend the wall of separation of church and state by any means necessary.
So, a blind guy is sitting on a park bench with his seeing eye dog right beside him. Suddenly, his seeing eye dog cocks his leg and pisses all over the blind guy's leg. So the blind guy gives the dog a treat.
A man taking a walk saw the entire thing and said to the blind man, "That is the most charitable thing Iβve ever seen, your dog deliberately pissed on you and here you are giving him a dog biscuit." The blind man says, "Oh itβs not what you think, Iβm just trying to find his head so I can kick him in the ass."
Whatβs the difference between Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker?
They both died at 95.
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. I told her that, as a punishment, she won't eat butter for 1 month.
Today I saw her killing a cockroach in the kitchen. I told her "nice try".
I have a short TRUE story of how I found out my brother was gay and did "it" with his best friend.
When my brother was 12-13 years old, he fucked his best friend and I saw it. I was like 4-5 years old, UNDERSTANDING what "it" stood for at the time. All I heard was "ahh" and "mmm". The only thing that traumatized me the most was when my brother moaned "daddy". I was so traumatized that I told my mother about it, she rolled her eyes and said, "He's probably playing a game with Evan". BULLSHIT... NO YOU DUMBASS. He was playing the game "SEX", more like "GAY SEX".
I even told my father and he said, "I don't understand what you're trying to say". I told him DIRECTLY that I heard my brother say "daddy" to his damn best friend!
I actually got so curious, I opened the door and saw them doing "69". I was blank white after I saw it. I will NEVER forget that he did "it" with his own best friend.. NEVER forget about it.
(just a btw, I still have the image stuck in my head and never forget how YOUNG he was..)
(He ain't no virgin anymore I guess lmfao.)
(MORE STORIES COMING SOON =D)
How do you stop a baby from drowning?
-Lift up your foot.
What does the 'w' in Africa stand for? Water.
What is the most common crime in China?
Identity fraud.
Boss: You're fired.
Me: *pauses porn* Why?
What did Melania ever see in Donald Trump?
$2 billion and high cholesterol.
What do you call someone who hates rape jokes? An ugly feminist that couldn't get a cock in her mouth.