Worst Jokes Ever

If I teach man he is the fish I caught, will I no longer be a fisher of men?

My Grandpa was supposed to be in 9/11, but airport security got him.

The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!

What’s the best cure for not wanting to go to work?

Suicide.

Yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, "To Be Continued."

What do you call a monkey in a minefield?

A baboom.

At 9/11, the people in the Twin Towers ordered pizza. They asked for pepperoni, but instead got plane.

What do you call an emo with curly hair?

Sam Reid.

Go punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

What are Michael Jackson’s favorite universities?

Brigham Young and Boise State.

Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."

I was fuming when I lost my job as a window cleaner, like who built the Twin Towers anyway?

Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"

Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.

Your forehead is like a line, it just keeps going.

I am always high, welcome to bipolar disorder. LMAO. (Don't bother to like or comment, I just had to say this.)

I, for one, give President Joe Biden my full support, and anything else he can find in my previously rented gym locker. 🤣

Twinkle, twinkle, there’s a car Coming like a shooting star.

I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.

I beat up my twin friends with a plane.

What goes up and down and needs two people?

A seesaw.

Parents are like food—not all kids get them.