Worst Jokes Ever
I heard guns kill people, so I gave up my right to own one.
Then I heard dicks rape people, so I chopped it off.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?
Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson screwed little boys.
Q: Why did the first Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead too.
Q: Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was hit by the other two Koalas on the way down.
Q: Why did the fourth Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it thought it was a game and joined in.
Q: Why did the fifth Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was curious to see where the others were going.
Q: Why did the sixth Koala fall off the tree? A: It was tied to the fifth koala.
Q: Why did the seventh Koala fall off the tree? A: Peer group pressure.
Why did the policeman rape the woman? Because he thought rapists wouldn't be attracted to non-virgins.
Your mum is so fat that when she wore a yellow coat people called taxi!
What’s the best thing about 26 year olds?
There are 20 of them.
If chickens wake up when the rooster crows, then when do ducks wake up?
At the quack of dawn.
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? She will let it go.
Q: What season can an orphan see their family tree?
A: Fall.
If you don't get it, in the fall trees have no leaves, there [are] just empty branches, like an orphan's tree.
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
What do you call a dolphin in the woods? Dead.
What did the orphan say to his parents?
I'm tripping balls right now!
My fucking balls hurt so god damn bad, oh my god!
Roses are red, violets are blue, you are so ugly that no one likes you.
What do you call a Chinese baby?
Sum Ting Wong.
I saw this kid sitting on the sidewalk and asked him where are his parents?
I love working at an orphanage.
What part is usually missing in an orphan’s computer system?
Motherboard.
Just 'cause I’m gay doesn’t mean I want you. I’m shocked anyone would.
I was going to tell a 9/11 joke, but it was really plane.
What do 3-year-old boys say after going to confession?
"My bum hurts!"