Worst Jokes Ever
What’s an orphan’s favorite cereal?
Because it’s the only magical string in his life.
I heard you were looking for a stud...
I already have the STD; all I need is you.
Opposite day be like in doors.
Figure: Finally, I can see.
Eyes: Nnnnnoooo! I'm blind. Figure, I'm sorry I made fun of you all those other times. Please don't make fun of me.
Figure: Ok eye promise eye won't.
Eyes: 😭
What is six inches, goes in your mouth, and it's fun when it vibrates? A toothbrush.
When is the only time Kamala Harris is using her head? When she is giving head.
How did Michael Jackson challenge the victim's parents? "Then why won't you slap my face, because I'm bad?"
If a cat or a dog plays Among Us, it will wanna be the impawstor.
A phone is like parents. Not everyone has one.
Once my sister was a sister, now she's a blister.
This is the true worst joke ever:
What did the person say to the other guy when he met him?
Hi!
Who is chicken's favorite actor?
James Cor-hen!
Rape jokes are so incredibly offensive to stupid women like me who don’t understand what comedy is.
What do mice eat for dinner?
Mac n Cheese.
Q: What's the difference between Jesus and a picture?
A: One uses one nail to hang.
How many dead slaves does it take to change a lightbulb?
Apparently, more than 6, because my basement is still dark.
One man was very depressed because he lost everything. He lost his job. He lost his home, and he lost his wife. So he went lonely into the forest to grieve.
Suddenly, with his head raised up, he sees Santa Claus walking by. "Santa?" he asks. "Why are you early? It is not even Christmas?"
"Ho, ho. Don't worry about me. Let's worry about you instead," says Santa. "What is the problem, my friend?"
"I lost everything good in my life. I got fired from my job. My wife divorced me. I lost my house."
Santa: "I can help you. You can wish three things you want in life, and I'll give it to you."
Man: "My first wish is I want my house back."
Santa: "Done!"
Man: "My second wish is I want 1 million in cash in my bank account."
Santa: "Done!"
Man: "My third wish is I also want my job back!"
Santa: "Done, but before I actually give you those wishes, I have to hump you."
Man: "Okay. Let's do it."
So Santa Claus takes off his pants to hump the man.
After they are done humping, Santa asks the man: "How old are you?"
Man: "I am 35 years old."
Santa: "And still believe in Santa Claus??!! HOHOHOHO!!!"
Ever heard of a reverse exorcism? It’s when the Devil tells the priest to exit the child’s body.
When does a pentagon not have 5 sides?
When it’s intersected by a plane.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, You slept with my cousin but I did too.
A woman walks into a dentist's office, sits on the counter, and spreads her legs.
The dentist says, "I think you have the wrong idea with that." The woman replies, "Last week you gave my husband his false teeth; now you can get them out."