Worst Jokes Ever
Q. What movie represents an orphan's life?
A. Spiderman: No Way Home.
Little Johnny's dad was driving him to school when they came up on a couple in a convertible. It was apparent that they were arguing. You could then see the woman pull out a knife. Seconds later, his dad saw a penis land in the windshield. Worried little Johnny will see it, he quickly turned on the wipers and brushed it off.
"What was that, Dad?" asked lil Johnny. "Oh, just a bug," said his father. With a confused look on lil Johnny's face, he then says, "That bug sure had a big dick, didn't he?"
The orphanage was open in apps, but I didn’t see the home button.
The daughter milked her dad. It turns out it wasn't milk...
What do you call emos that live in the Bahamas?
Tropical depressions.
Someone: When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to cheer up.
Me: My, what a great idea! Why didn't I think of that? ;)
Someone in London is stabbed every two minutes. Poor guy.
A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull.
The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram."
She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable."
Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"
I was going to make a rape joke, but I don’t think you would’ve given me consent.
What are the best shooting ranges in America?
Schools.
What do the initials BIBLE stand for?
Bull In Book Lacking Evidence
I can find the end of time before I find your hairline.
If you're depressed and you're crying, like this joke.
My mom told me yesterday that in this Valentine, we should take our love to new heights. So tomorrow I'm prepared to fuck her in "The Hot Seat" position.
Your forehead is so big, your face is on your chin.
There are people who are beautiful, and then there are people whom I won't rape.
Why did the silly girl put sugar under her pillow?
She wanted to have sweet dreams. 😂
Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
Teach a feminist to fish and she will accuse you of patronising her, claim she knew how to do it anyway, and that even if she didn’t, she could easily work it out without the help of a man.
What place has more boys than the Catholic Church? Michael Jackson's bedroom.
This is a joke to tell to someone with you or something. SOMEONE will laugh. Say: "This word isn't gonna be funny until I tell you, your probably not going to laugh." *your friend* "what's the word?" *you* "finger" *friend* *dies of laughter*. *note* it works better if you wiggle your finger or something before and not everyone laughs, so don't feel bad if they don't. Also, don't be surprised if you get put in jail for murder, because you're going to kill someone with this.