Worst Jokes Ever
A man sees a small boy begging for money. He walks up to him and asks him if he is an orphan.
The boy asks, "What gave me away?"
The man responds, "Your parents."
Yo mama so ugly even Hello Kitty said goodbye.
Hi, if you are suffering with depression and want to talk about it, please do so in the comments, and just know you are NOT alone.
Yo mama so fat, I saw her eat with 3 utensils: A spoon, a knife, and a FORKLIFT.
What do you call your angry French aunt?
A crossaunt.
Why does China have the biggest eyewear?
Because all their eyes are too small.
Sketchy dude: If you push this button you get 100 million dollars but 100 million people would die.
Me: If I push it more than once do I get more money?
Sketchy dude: Yes, but more people die.
Me: *rapidly pushes button* This is how you solve world hunger.
Sketchy dude: ... wtf, you're insane.
Me: ...
I'm going to draw a picture. A picture with a twist. I'll draw it with a razor blade. I'll draw it on my wrist.
What do you call an orphan when there 18?
Homeless.
What do you call a cow with no toes?
Lac-toes intolerant.
How did Helen Keller lose her virginity?
I told her the plunger was stuck in the toilet, but she didn’t listen...
Why the actual fuck is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not, and no one will know the goddamn difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, "It’s too offensive" or something like that. Goddamn just take that shit somewhere else.
Little Johnny's sister, Suzy, sees her mom in the shower and asks, "What is that between your legs?" Her mom responds, "That is my garage." The next day, Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, "What is that between your legs?" Her dad answers, "It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy's garage." The next day, Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, "Why is there blood all over your hands, Suzy?" Suzy says, "Well... little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage, so I ripped its wheels off."
What do you call a pregnant slave? A two for one deal.
People: Stop invading Ukraine!
Putin: Ukraine? you mean Mykraine.
I saw this really old guy with the Hitler stache, so I decided to start beating him up.
It was very weird when a camera crew came out with Harrison Ford and started yelling at me.
What is a Mexican person's favorite sport?
Cross country.
What do ghosts put on their bagels 🥯?
Scream Cheese 😱.
What is long that Paul Walker can fit into his mouth? A long black tree.
Your mom is like a penny: two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants.