Worst Jokes Ever
I bought a wooden whistle. I tried so hard, but it wouldn't whistle.
So I bought a steel one. It still wouldn't let me whistle. Then I got a lead one. It still wouldn't lead me whistle. Then I realised, they were flutes, so the wood would lead me whistle if I did it correctly. Steel....
I was going to tell a 9/11 joke, but it was really plane.
If you thought an inner-city black boy cannot transform into a deranged pale Karen... well, just look at Michael Jackson.
A little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her mom naked taking a shower and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get breasts?" Mom says, "Oh, when you're 12 or 13." The little girl looks down and see’s her pubes and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get hair down there?" Mom says, "Oh, about the same time you get breasts."
Then the little girl walks in and sees her dad sitting on the bed with a hard on and asks, "Daddy, daddy, when am I gonna get one of those?" Dad says, "Soon as your mom leaves for work."
In my locality, there was an orphanage but everybody in the locality was really sexist too, so they had to change the orphanage into a brothel 'cause everybody took the boys away and nobody was taking the girls and the manager didn't want to waste any 14-year-old pussy, did he?
I'm required by law to tell you I am a registered sex offender.
How do people grade pedophiles?
1st grade to 8th grade.
(I know it's orphan jokes but still)
One day I was with my mom and we had no money on the credit card, and we live far, and my mom was hungry.
A guy and his friend had a car and asked us if we were lost. We said no, we have no ride, no money, and my mom is hungry. So the guy would take us for a blowjob each, so I was driving the car and my mom gave both guys a blowjob. We had to get out of the car to look for something, then the two guys went in the car and told us we got bad news and good news. I asked what the bad news was. They said that they're not taking us home, so I asked what the good news was. They told me that they fed my mom and drove off. I guess where they left us wasn't a long walk and my mom wasn't hungry anymore.
Why is Afghanistan good at chess? They take the rooks out fast.
What is the biggest fear of an American soldier taking a piss in a bush during the Vietnam war? His manhood will be chopped off.
Dark humor is like water.
Some people get it, others don't.
When your baby is stillborn and you have a funeral, what song should you never play?
Alphaville - "Forever Young."
Why is Jeffrey Epstein so bad at races?
Because he comes in a little behind.
What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?
"Just Beat It."
What starts with "N" and ends with "G?"
Nothing.
What’s the difference between a firefighter and Snoop Dogg?
Snoop Dogg inhaled less smoke during 9/11.
What do you call an emo kid with light-up shoes? A human chandelier.
I made a website for orphans. Sadly, it doesn't have a home button.
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bay.
When life gives you melons, You’re probably dyslexic.
My friends told me to stop making suicide jokes, so I hanged on.