How do emo bands prepare for their shows?
They self-harmonize.
Worst Jokes Ever
What's the best finger for fingering A minor?
I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."
Why were the Twin Towers angry?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, and all they got was plane.
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Who."
"Who who?"
"Why are you who-ing like an owl?"
What is Jesus’s Favorite Exercise?
CrossFit.
"Do you know the difference between wallpaper and toilet paper?" Replies, "No." "Gross!"
I'm a pilot and my boss told me to fly people to New York, so I flew them to New York and hit the towers. That was a tragic story.
Do you know what the equivalent to hell is these days?
1. Listening to your teacher.
2. Not having your phone/game/TV.
3. Not having nicotine.
What’s an emo kid's favorite wood working tool? A chop saw!
What do you call a three humped camel?
Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
'Cause they don't got balls to scratch.
How do people grade pedophiles?
1st grade to 8th grade.
(I know it's orphan jokes but still)
Q: What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan?
A: Apples get picked! 😱
When I saw a kid fall with no legs, I said, "Just walk it off!"
Roses are red, violets are blue, by the way, I have the flu!
Why can't religion and science agree?
Because science creates skyscrapers, and religion combines with skyscrapers.
It's not Minecraft.
It's Ourcraft!
What do you call a monkey in a minefield?
A baboom.