Worst Jokes Ever
it's not rape if we're both screaming
People be like: "What happened to Fruit Ninja? It was on your phone."
Me: "I upgraded, now I can play on my pro max thigh/wrists."
The depressed kid wanted a high-five from the tree, but it left him hangin'.
Why do gay men like the filling in Hostess Twinkies?
It reminds them of cum. 😋 😍 😏 😜
I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:
The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"
What is the difference between the President of Ukraine and the President of the United States?
The President of Ukraine is a comedian, and the President of the United States is a joke!
My therapist said: "Time heals all wounds."
I shot her, now we wait.
what do you call a terrorist attack in india?
a wednesday.
WARNING OFFENSIVE: What is the difference between a redhead and a brick? ... A brick gets laid.
Why shouldn’t you play basketball with a pig?
Because he’s a ball hog.
What’s the difference between jail and my basement?
Some people are let out of jail.
What is an Iraqi kid's favorite game?
Minesweeper.
I saw my friend hang themselves. My response was, I guess they wanted to hang with someone.
So, a few hours ago my friend said I need to CUT it out with the s/h jokes... like... it's really not that deep?
What do you call a depressed a cappella group?
Self-Harmony.
I'm in jail for 5 minutes and I already got fucked 15 times. You don't have any idea how much I hate playing Monopoly with my dad.
What do the initials BIBLE stand for?
Bull In Book Lacking Evidence
I was going to tell a joke about babies, but I decided to abort.
Why did Tyrone drop his ice cream cone?
A: He got shot.
Little Johnny's dad was driving him to school when they came up on a couple in a convertible. It was apparent that they were arguing. You could then see the woman pull out a knife. Seconds later, his dad saw a penis land in the windshield. Worried little Johnny will see it, he quickly turned on the wipers and brushed it off.
"What was that, Dad?" asked lil Johnny. "Oh, just a bug," said his father. With a confused look on lil Johnny's face, he then says, "That bug sure had a big dick, didn't he?"