Worst Jokes Ever
I'm in jail for 5 minutes and I already got fucked 15 times. You don't have any idea how much I hate playing Monopoly with my dad.
What do the initials BIBLE stand for?
Bull In Book Lacking Evidence
I was going to tell a joke about babies, but I decided to abort.
Why did Tyrone drop his ice cream cone?
A: He got shot.
I can tell a joke :)
Twinkle, twinkle, there's a car Coming like a shooting star. I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.
Q. What movie represents an orphan's life?
A. Spiderman: No Way Home.
Little Johnny's dad was driving him to school when they came up on a couple in a convertible. It was apparent that they were arguing. You could then see the woman pull out a knife. Seconds later, his dad saw a penis land in the windshield. Worried little Johnny will see it, he quickly turned on the wipers and brushed it off.
"What was that, Dad?" asked lil Johnny. "Oh, just a bug," said his father. With a confused look on lil Johnny's face, he then says, "That bug sure had a big dick, didn't he?"
The orphanage was open in apps, but I didn’t see the home button.
Why can't Asians make a white baby?
Cause two wongs don't make a white.
The daughter milked her dad. It turns out it wasn't milk...
"the floor is lava!"
- everyone, Pompeii 79 A.D.
What do you call emos that live in the Bahamas?
Tropical depressions.
Someone in London is stabbed every two minutes. Poor guy.
Someone: When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to cheer up.
Me: My, what a great idea! Why didn't I think of that? ;)
A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull.
The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram."
She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable."
Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"
I was going to make a rape joke, but I don’t think you would’ve given me consent.
The judge asked Bill Cosby for his defense. He used feminist talking points and said "My body, my choice" and "It's my right to privacy." The judge, being impartial, let Cosby go.
What are the best shooting ranges in America?
Schools.
My mom told me yesterday that in this Valentine, we should take our love to new heights. So tomorrow I'm prepared to fuck her in "The Hot Seat" position.
I can find the end of time before I find your hairline.