Worst Jokes Ever
Holy fucking shit, Addison, watersharky, Gwen, and all of you other cringelords, I swear to God if I hear one more thing about "please be kind, no bullying on the internet," I will actually shoot my local school.
You may not know, since you are only 8 years old or whatever, but the world is not kind. It’s full of sick people out to beat others, and the only way to stay safe is to beat them. So even if you think you are spreading kindness, it’s just gonna make you a target. So just stfu and keep your "please be kind" messages to yourselves.
I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a blow dryer.
When I shit in the toilet, I think that if I shit hard enough, I can see my asshole plug.
"Among Us, Among Us, Among Us, Among Us, Among Us."
Why can orphans just be gay?
Cause they want to call somebody "daddy."
Q: What do you call a duck that's sad?
A: Idk, but it's acting really duckpressed.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a third of a beer. The bartender bellows, "Get the hell out of here, are you trying to ruin me?"
How to kick a deaf person off the plane:
Step 1: Pretend to yell and get some friends to do it, too.
Step 2: Tell your friends to raise both of their hands.
Step 3: He's out of the plane on a parachute.
I saw an orphan take a selfie... oh man, that was one alone family photo.
A 17 year old pregnant Juanita flew all the way to NY from TX to get an abortion. Initially, she was denied the procedure because she wasn't COVID boosted, but after she explained the father was religious and wanted to be involved, they quickly resolved the threat.
What does a bungee jumper and a homosexual have in common?
When the rubber snaps, they both end up in the shit! 💩
A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."
He couldn't shoot straight.
What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common? They both can’t hear their parents.
Why can’t an orphan go to Family Dollar? They don’t have a family.
Don’t mess with an emo because if their friends pull up, you gotta fight the suicide squad.
What's the difference between being gay and straight? Well, it is the hole.
In the new Grinch, the Whos would say he stole Christmas, "Get him!" Then the Grinch said, "I'm an orphan!" That changes everything. The Whos said, "What would they do if Max was an orphan?"
Why do orphans want to be criminals? Because they want to feel what it’s like to be wanted.
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My dad did not beat cancer.
People tell me to be nice to orphans, so I say, "What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"
I want to be like pizza so I can get cut into 8 pieces.
*Breaking News!* - Apparently the first person in Melbourne has died because of the Coronavirus. In his house they found 1000 cans of food, 50 kilos of pasta, 80 kilos of rice, 300 toilet rolls and 50L of hand sanitiser which he had panic purchased from the supermarket and stockpiled "just in case".
The whole lot collapsed and buried him.