Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Q: I'm a famous athlete and I've got a lot of fans.

A: Is that why I never see you sweat?

3 year old boy: 1... 2...uh....?

Older brother: Ooh I know! 1, 2, 3 get the fuck off my apple tree!

What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?

"I wanna sock in the eye so bad!"

I thought happiness started with an “H.” Why does my happiness start with “U”?

Hey, wake up. I just murdered your family, but I live alone.

Then who are these people in your house? They are people in my house? Well, not anymore, dumb bitch. You're welcome, you could have died.

Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant all her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats,” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “well done?”

Repost

What do a 14-year-old and the fetus inside her have in common?

They both say, "Ohh sh*t, my mom is going to kill me!"

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 victims, they went through 42 stories in 7 seconds.