Worst Jokes Ever
My friend said she was tired of seeing me every day.
So I pushed her off the side of a cliff.
Alright, I'm gonna make like a tree and leaf.
*****You have to leave right after you tell this joke.****
My sister said I'm stupid today, and she's the one who wrote this.
You better get used to having dry cereal cuz your dad ain't never bringing the milk back.
What were the orphan's mom and dad's names? John and Jane Doe.
"Tibia" honestly, I think the reason I’m "bonely" is because you guys don’t find my jokes "humerus."
Maybe if I played the trombone it would get people’s attention, but "tibia" honest I can’t be bothered, so just look at my "BONE-zai" tree, although my brother doesn’t really like that one, so how about a "S-pine" tree?
Suzy: How did Jonah fit in the whale?
Teacher: Whales are very big but have small mouths, so Jonah did not actually fit in the whale.
Suzy: Well, the Bible says he did.
Teacher: He did not.
Suzy: When I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in.
Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven? Maybe he went to hell.
Suzy: Then you can ask him.
I went to the table to eat my egg, but I couldn't find it anywhere.
I think someone must've poached it.
Roses are red, That's a tin can, You have no home, So get in the van!
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 ate 9.
What does a bird say when it gets sick?
I flu!
Is your oven running?
Then you better go catch it!
Deeeeeertt.
What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?
One is gigantic, the other is just a little lighter.
Q: Where did Lucy go during the bombing?
A: Everywhere!
What’s the difference between 1000 used tires and 1000 used condoms?
One's a good year and one's a great year.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
What's an emo's favorite way of growing food?
The slash and burn tactic.
Why didn’t the train kill nine families of four?
Because he had no loco-MOTIVE. AHAHAH
How many East Asians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Tu.