Worst Jokes Ever

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?

The wheelchair. 😎

Did you hear about the kidnapping? Yeah, he woke up.

My mom told me a joke she made 13 years ago, but she didn't tell me what it was... Anyways, I'm turning 14 next month.

We can't go under it...

We can't go over it...

We have to go through it!

An orphan's favorite toy is a boomerang. It comes back to them, unlike their parents.

I got caught masturbating in the bath by my mum!

I said, "Mum, I’ll wash it as hard and fast as I want!"

I looked in the mirror yesterday. I still have nightmares...

Why are washers better than babies?

Washers don't cry when you put a load in them.

Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.

I have an orphan joke, but it needs parental guidance.

Your forehead is so big, it's a $20 taxi ride from your hairline to your eyebrows.

Me (an adult) with my girl going to a nice restaurant, I asked the waiter, "People under 12 eat free, right?" The waiter confirmed that yes, people under 12 eat free, then my girlfriend said, "But I'm 13."

What's long and black? The line at KFC.

What do you call a gay barbecue?

LGTBBQ.

Why do we not have female magicians? Because last time we had them, we burned them alive.

I got kicked out of a library because I put a book about women's rights into the fantasy section.

Damn bro, are you Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?

Cuz you be lookin AuTiSTiC.

Why aren't orphans good at Monopoly?

They don't know what a house is.

I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer.

I only have 4 moods:

• fuck this • fuck that • fuck me • fuck you

I empathize with the above, but I have an additional 4 moods to add:

• fuck yeah • fuck no • fuck my life • fuck everything

and don't forget the inevitable

• fuck it

and for those who have just given up

• fuck

This is beautiful.