Worst Jokes Ever
I got kicked out of the library for putting a book about women's rights in the fantasy section.
What did the grim reaper say when his favorite car commercial came on? "Safe life repair, safe life replace!"
You look like the 0.01 percent of bacteria the Lysol didn't kill.
Why do strippers never care about things?
Because the last time they gave a fuck, it was for $20 an hour.
What does my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
Kobe jokes just don’t land well anymore.
Why don’t you act like your hairline and kindly take several steps back?
You use your legs as support, you count on your fingers.
Communists don't play Minecraft.
They play Ourcraft.
Leave a man on a plane, and he flies for a day.
Throw a man off a plane, and he flies for the rest of his life.
Why did the Xbox player cross the road? To render in the buildings.
There are only 2 things I hate in this world:
1. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures. 2. The French.
So there were these two wind turbines standing in a field, and one of them asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?"
The other thinks for a moment and says, "I'm a big metal fan."
Remember: Alcohol doesn't solve your problems, but neither does milk or water.
Why do you have to watch your back at NASA? They want to probe Uranus.
I cried when my dad was chopping onions. Onions was a good dog.
Jack and Jill went up the hill. So Jack could lick her candy.
But Jack got a shock and a mouthful of cock.
Because Jill's real name was Randy.
What's the difference between an erection and Edward Holland? Nothing, they're both dicks.
Why did the girls sit on the clock?
To be on time.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss.