Worst Jokes Ever
The Hodja purchased a piece of meat at the market, and on his way home he met a friend.
Seeing the Hodja's purchase, the friend told him an excellent recipe for stew.
"I'll forget it for sure," said the Hodja. "Write it on a piece of paper for me."
The friend obliged him, and the Hodja continued on his way, the piece of meat in one hand and the recipe in the other. He had not walked far when suddenly a large hawk swooped down from the sky, snatched the meat, and flew away with it.
"It will do you no good!" shouted the Hodja after the disappearing hawk. "I still have the recipe!"
His neighbor asked Hodja,
"Do you have some forty-year-old vinegar?"
"I have," answered Hodja.
"Would you give me some? I need it to prepare a medication," said the man.
"No, I won't," replied Hodja. "If I had given some to everybody who asked for it, would I have it for forty years?"
What was the last thing to go through the minds of 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
What's one way to drain someone's ego?
Hand them a mirror, and say they should see how ugly they turned out in life.
I was wearing a George Floyd t-shirt, and a person said to me: "That must be a bit tight round the neck."
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"Why are you shaking? She's gonna eat me later!"
Why don’t Belgians eat shit sandwiches?
They don’t fancy bread!
Bully: You are ugly.
Me: You are so fat, you are the Call of Duty map.
Trump said: "Let's make America great again."
Translation by Democrats:
"Let's fake America again."
When I was younger, I went to an Indian convenience store to pick up a lottery ticket. When the cashier handed me the ticket, she told me to "hold it properly." So I ripped the red dot right off of her forehead.
No one.
Absolutely no one.
The History Channel at 11:00 PM: Who really killed JFK?
"SCOOT WANT TAXI!" Ok, maybe I do but can't make it there because yo mama is so fat he can't hear me on the other side.
What did one condom say to the other condom as they were passing a gay bar? "Let's go get shit faced!"
Yo mama so fat, NASA used her stomach to jump to Uranus in seconds.
How do you spell "cognitive mess?"
J.O.E. B.I.D.E.N.
Why did the blind woman get raped?
Because she didn't know she was wearing see-through clothes.
My mom said she will slam my head into my computer if I don't get off it, but I'm not too worried. I think she is joking.
Sharb Glarv Jug jug Milky Jar jar Pobbies Mm yum yum Rawr Big pooboes.
What do you call the bear that pushes all the other bears into the pool?
The dry bear.
Joe Biden said he was going to a petting zoo.
Trump said schools are not petting zoos.