Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

I tried my best using phone sex online, but the thing about it is the holes cannot fit through.

Why does an orphan always try to escape the orphanage?

Because he wants to get money to buy a family since they won't buy him.

What is the best way to keep dogs out of the street?

Put them in a barking lot!

What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms and no legs?

Matt!

You don't have a forehead, you have a fivehead.

You don't have dreams, you have movies.

Why couldn't the GREAT WHITE beat the HAMMERHEAD?

because the GREAT WHITE kept getting BONKED on the HEAD by the HAMMERHEAD!

What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?

On a school bus, the pricks are on the inside.

A father awaits the birth of his first child.

The obstetrician says, "Unfortunately, he has no arms."

The father says, "I'll love it all the same."

But the obstetrician adds, "It is also without legs, trunk, head."

The father says, "I'll love it all the same."

Then the obstetrician confessed to him, "I'm sorry, but only this ear was born."

The father says, "I'll love it all the same."

And the obstetrician says, "Talk to him closer: he's deaf!"

What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?

Dollar a pop!

Get it?

What is the most annoying thing your parents say to you, and what is the dumbest thing someone can say that annoys you?

The most annoying thing your parents can say: "Finish your dinner, there are starving kids in Africa!" No, you can't have any dessert until you finish your dinner. (See how annoying that is!)

The dumbest thing someone can say that annoys you: "Why is your name Crayla? Why is your last name Goldburg? Is it like a gold bird!" (That is really annoying if you ask me!)

Thanks for reading this...bye!

My grandfather has been through a lot in his time. When he was in the war, he survived a mustard gas attack. And later down the line, he survived being pepper sprayed by the police. He was certainly a real seasoned veteran.

What's the definition of a bastard?

Answer: A man with a 1 inch dick and a 10 inch tongue and all he wants to do is fuck!

My joke: You have to guess, answers come at 3:00. Why did the cow jump into space?

Hint... it smelled its favorite food 🍱 and saw its future!

That hint was technically the whole answer. Can you guess in 3 hours? Lol, I will be posting every time, and my giveaway starts at 5:00: my mega fly ride bat dragon 🐉 and five jungle eggs.

Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.

So I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”