Worst Jokes Ever
I named my dog Stone so that I can say to people that I throw stones every day.
What do phones and orphans have in common?
They selfie! (It's because they don't have parents.)
Why does an orphan eat cereal with water? Because their dad didn't come back with the milk.
Line (DYM 105)
A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. The couple agrees, and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing.
They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing, then his friend calls and he is groaning. He said he was having cramps, so the husband tells the doctor, "Doc, turn it up to 40%!" So he does, and his friend throws up, so he said, "Doc, turn it up to 100%!" and his friend dies.
Sometimes I look at someone I hate and think, "I hope you get laid tonight."
By a tweaker with AIDS.
"Slow and steady wins the race."
What is the difference between a cow and a chicken?
It's white and it's brown.
To Tina: Hi, love, you're my oldest and dearest friend. I will love you for as long as I live. I luvv you so much, my sweetest, dearest darling.
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.
Hello, this is our fun CULT, haha, or CLUB, whatever you want!
Love you, orphan haters! :^ Nina
Why was the train late?
It kept getting sidetracked.
Someone said to me when it was winter it[’]s time for you to “chill out.” I was like 👁👄👁
Anyone got any new jokes? I ran through all the pages already.
On this website, I just searched up "My jokes". In response, it said, "No jokes found." Wth.
Who wants to be my boyfriend?
David’s parents have three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what’s the name of the third son?
Answer: David.
Your uncle Jack is stuck on a horse.
Would you help your uncle "Jack" off the horse?
What is tall when it's young but short when it's old?
A candle or a pencil!
Josh is chubby.