Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices in order to pay for my education.

They were both druids.

I don't really trust the press. Sometimes they wear badges that say "press," but if you press those badges, they just fall over, all surprised.

It's tricky when you're both a moth and a sea captain in charge of a ship, but up ahead, you see a lighthouse.

I was at a concert in the front row, and I shouted something to the band's guitarist. He took it the wrong way and responded: "I'm going to go down there and hit you with my guitar!"

And I replied: "Is that a death fret?"

A Chelsea fan called Timo Werner on his phone to encourage him during his bad form. Timo Werner still missed all the calls.

Hi guys, I'm back! So I have a question for you. What is red and smells like blue paint? Type in comments what you came up with.

A: Knock knock.

B: Who's there?

A: Package from Ted Kaczynski.

B: Package from Te-?

A: BOOM!

In this modern age, I feel as though it's inappropriate to make jokes about herbs and fish.

It's not the thyme or the plaice for it.

And there's the referee taking down Ronaldo's number.

Not really the time or the place, but it's good to see that we've kept homophobia out of football.

A few days ago, I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, and he sent me a large goat with a long neck. Turns out I phoned Dial-a-Llama.

Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"

I would like to tell you the name of a song I showed my friend who was on LSD. "I See a Dreamer."

Guys, put more comments in.

We are so close to beating the world record for most comments on this website, and the record is 171.