Worst Jokes Ever
I got fired from my job today at a banana factory. They said to throw away the bad ones, so I threw away the bent ones.
I once told Siri, "Hey Siri, why am I still single?" She opened the front camera.
When you tell your Roblox girlfriend you’re breaking up with her, and then 10 seconds later you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
I usually don’t make school shooting jokes.
Because they’re aimed at a younger audience.
I'm shocked, my new toaster isn't waterproof.
Sometimes I feel ugly, then I think of my sister and get over it.
What's in common with Michael Jackson and a phone?
Kids play with both of them.
Twinkle, twinkle little star. I hope I'll get hit by a car. I am not dead yet, I hope I'll die. I hope I'll be born to a new whole life.
What's the only gun that doesn't exist in Africa?
A water gun.
What do you call a black person in a dark room?
Invisible.
My dad died in 9/11.
But he was the pilot.
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.
I wish I could say that my life is a joke, but I can't because jokes have a meaning.
When you name yourself Twin Towers and Terrorist in Kahoot:
"Twin Towers" is on fire🔥
"Terrorist" is on a streak of 2.
What did the rope say to me?
"Hey there man, you wanna hang later?"
Is depression an emotion or a state of mind? I call it a lifestyle.
What do emos and apples have in common?
They both hang on trees.
Are you depression? 'Cause you're always on my mind~
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his ass.
What's the difference between an amateur thief and a professional thief?
The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, "Sign here please."