Worst Jokes Ever
Don't be sad if you miss a shot when you yell "Kobe." He didn't make it either.
Why did Technoblade die?
'Cause he wanted to Skyblock in Heaven!
You know why pedophiles get away with molesting children?
Because who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.
Your hairline is so far back it became a case.
I have double standards: burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.
Are you a fire alarm because you're loud and annoying?
What's the difference between a dead baby in my trash can and a discarded sex toy?
...
I'm still trying to think of an answer.
I like my men like I like my Alexa:
By my bed and turned on.
Two nuns walk into a liquor store, and one asked the clerk for the biggest bottle of Irish whisky he had.
The clerk replied, "Heck no sister, you nuns aren't supposed to drink that stuff!" The nun said, "Well my son, it is not for us, you see, it is for Mother Teresa," then the nun whispers, "She has the constipation."
The clerk said, "Oh, in that case, it's on the house. Here's the biggest jug we have." The nuns thank him, bless him, and leave. A few hours later, as the clerk is leaving, he sees the same two sisters in the parking lot, rolling around and drinking the Irish whiskey. Appalled, he goes over to them and says, "You ladies lied to me! You told me it was for Mother Teresa for her constipation!"
One of the nuns takes another swig, looks up at him and says "You wanna know something buddy? She sure will shit when she sees us!"
Don’t stop orphan jokes. They’re funny, and people are just mad that they don’t understand the jokes because they're too STUUUPID.
Where are virgins usually born?
Virginia.
Why did the people think Stephen Hawking was disrespectful?
'Cause he didn't stand up for the national anthem.
Guy is at athletic meet. Asks guy if he is a pole vaulter.
He replies, "No I am German and how did you know my name was Walter?"
Sad to think about legend O.G. Mudbone being no longer with us.
I’m only curious how they closed his casket.
Q: Why did the fly go to the hospital?
A: For the doctor to make it get "butter!"
If sex before marriage is a sin, is sex after marriage cos or tan?
Mississippi girls are missing a "pp."
How do you punish Helen Keller? Just move the couch.
Q. What's red and crawls up your leg?
A. A homesick abortion.
I was crying while my dad was cutting onions in the kitchen. Onions was such a good dog.