Worst Jokes Ever
What do you get if you cross a loaf of bread with a vagina?
A yeast infection.
My bird. PRETTY BIRD! PRETTY BIRD!
Others CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP!
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes? Cashew.
Luigi was dying and had two sons. Bruno was handsome, but Alberto was ugly.
He said, "Maria, tell me, is Alberto my son?"
"Yes, Luigi," his wife said, and he died happily.
Wife said, "Thank God he didn’t ask about the other one!"
What is a Karen called in Europe?
An American.
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone. (Wing, wing, halo.)
Why did no one turn up to John's funeral?
Because Sally wrote the invitations!
Your forehead is so big that it could carry the passengers of the Titanic.
A plane is about to crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out.
A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a man man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, takes off his shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
He can't run home.
What's the difference between 63 cents and Princess Diana?
It's easier to scrape up 63 cents.
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza. Instead, they got a plane.
Hello everyone, to the first Hollow Knight meeting!
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To reunite with his parents.
What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?
Anything you want—he can’t hear you.
I am a fat girl.
When I was 17, my mom’s door was always locked. I wonder what she was doing.
Rooster.
"Dude come here and see a rabbit!"
"Ok!"
"Are you ok, man?"
"Yeah, I’m fine."
"Dude, pull your pants back up!"
Me at an orphanage: I need to talk.
Orphan: My parents!
Me: You know that word?