Worst Jokes Ever
Can I ask you a question? Nut now!
Don’t panic! Stay c-almond collected.
A friend asked what an acorn is.
I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
"Don’t look! I saw you peeking through the window."
You can assume a horse is called a great jumper when the horse’s name is “Polo Neck”.
A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."
The officer said, "There is no traffic."
The man said, "Exactly, that’s how far behind I am!"
Why can't I get a girlfriend?
Because I'm a beta male simp.
I pushed my best friend's chair in class. Now I kinda feel bad that he was in a wheelchair.
Your momma's so fat, she had to take a selfie using the Hubble telescope.
Hope the towers are doing well this morning, and I'll get back to you!
What do Shrek and onions have in common?
*LAYERS*
Me: What’s the definition of “ignorance”?
Friend: Don’t know?
Me: U STUPID!
I have trash so I throw it at my sister and say that she is a trash can.
I had morning wood one day. Then my sister saw it and said, "I can help!"
Teacher's pen is RED, our pen is BLUE, she is marking an EGG on my marksheet, left with questions and no CLUE.
What is small, black and yellow, and drops things?
A fumble bee.
Stupid Mary Jane was swinging on the swing.
Her momma said, "Stupid Mary Jane, don't swing so high, the boys will see your underwear!"
Stupid Mary Jane laughed and laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing no underwear.
Three kids one day found a magic slide. There was a sign next to it that said, "Slide down and your wish will come true." The first kid slid down and wished for a chocolate river. He landed in a chocolate river.
When the 2nd kid slid down he wished for a bunch of money. He landed in a pile of money.
Finally, the 3rd kid slid down, and he said, "WEEEE!!!!!!"
Did you know emo kids are the highest jumpers in the world? Some are still up there!
Why couldn't an eagle do a barrel roll? It's oblivious, it's il-eagle.