Worst Jokes Ever

Yo mama so fat...

She's the iceberg who sunk the Titanic!

What was the African kid with water called...? The lucky one. 😭😭

Yo mama's so old, she walked out of a museum and the alarm went off.

Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.

I lit a retirement home on fire so that all the seniors can be cremated for free.

What is the difference between me and a fire?

It's hot.

Yo mama so ugly,

they won’t give her a vaccine so she can keep wearing her mask.

Your forehead is so big that it made Mona Lisa smile.

Roses are red, violets are blue,

I’m sorry you look like my old beat up shoe.

Pro tip: How to not hit your thumb with a hammer, make your child hold the nail.

Who is always looking spot on?

The cheetahs.

Bully: I wouldn't bother wasting my time on a shit person like you.

Me: At least I have a brain unlike you.

Bully: Well at least I have a mom unlike you.

Me: Well your mom is so fat that she got stuck in her car and started bleeding Nutella?

Bully: How would you know that?

Me: Because she told me herself.

Bully: How exactly?

Me: She's on the phone right now.

Phone: *High pitched animal noises*

Me: Told you so!

What do you call a dog in China?

E10

Three guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet, and the psycho one says, "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have!"

The first guy says, "Ha! My girlfriend has six! I'm racked up!" The second guy said, "Eh, I am happy with two balls." The third guy said, "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"

A guy listening in enters and says, "Bro, you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?"

Girl, you must be a Muslim because you are only 5 years old, yet you know how to give great head.

The orphan also had to cry because the cartels called him "homie."

What do you call an Indian in a Lamborghini?

Curry in a hurry.

Give a man a plane ticket, and he’ll fly for a day.

Push a man from a plane, and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.

A leaf and an emo fell off a cliff, who landed first? The leaf, because the rope stopped the emo.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "You know you wanna."

Jill said yes and lifted up her dress. They had some fun.

But silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.