Worst Jokes Ever
Lol, I have no life :)
Did you know the Bible has a passage about killing babies by smashing them against rocks?
That's probably because microwaves hadn't been invented yet.
When you have to get your prostate checked and you can feel the cold rubber of the glove, but you realize both the doctor's hands are on your shoulders.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they cannot find home.
Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to get to the other side.
Q: What’s the hardest thing about fucking a dude with a dildo?
A: Making sure he doesn’t wake up.
Yo mama so fat, she sunk the Titanic.
Why did the straight white caucasian male cross the road?
Because a black person was approaching.
A man asks God, "Hello God, why did you make my wife so dumb?"
God replies, "So she would love you..."
Q: What's the difference between a CEO and a beer can?
A: Beer cans don't bleed when they get shot.
No matter how lonely you get, you have Explain Bear.
Explain Bear is always there for you.
I don't beat up midgets.
That would be punching down.
Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a nursery? A. The abortion clinic won't let you take the baby home.
Q. What's red and pink and spins around really fast? A. A baby in a blender.
I should probably stop making jokes about bulimia. They just leave a bad taste in my mouth.
When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.
She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.
I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!
Job interview: "What's your greatest weakness?"
"Honesty."
"I don't think honesty is a weakness."
"I don't give a fuck what you think."
Why do teenage girls hang out in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can't even.
What has 2 or 3 hands and is always right twice a day when it is broken?
A clock.
What did the young Taliban member say to the old Taliban member?
"Okay, Boomer."