Worst Jokes Ever
I'd make a joke about the chin bones, but y'all couldn't mandle it.
What do you call Mordecai dressing up as a basketball player?
Blue Jay Simpson!
Mom, where are we going?
To your grandma's funeral.
Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.
What kind of bees produce milk? Boobees.
Why does the orphan have water with its cereal?
Their dad never came back with the milk.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I was born pretty, what happened to you?
In Saudi Arabia, there lived a man named Abdul.
Abdul rhymes with Azul, the Spanish word for blue.
And he probably be lookin' more blue than me.
Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police... Who? It's the police, let me in so I can get some donuts!
My ex's dad died while she was texting me. She said she had a boyfriend, but I told her I had a dad.
Your mama's so young your dad went to jail.
Your hairline so far back, it's a wide receiver for the Minnesota Vikings.
Dad: Hey, uh... you're adopted.
Dog: *frown*
You're so fat, that you're fat.
The only doctor you have is Doctor Pepper.
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone."
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
How does a train sneeze?
It goes, "A-choo choo!"
Why can't Chinese people have white babies? Because two wrongs don't make a white.
If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?
Tony Abbott's career.
What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists?
5% of atheists have seen a ghost.
5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy.
What do you do if your dick is smoking?
Get your mum to lick it.