Worst Jokes Ever
An ugly, poor teenage girl found a genie lamp in her backyard. The genie said, "I will grant you 3 wishes, but under 1 condition."
"What is it?" she asked.
"After I grant your final wish, you have to have sex with me," the genie replied.
"Okay, for my 1st wish, I wish to be the prettiest girl at my school," the genie snapped his fingers and made her pretty.
"For my 2nd wish, I wish for my family to be rich," the genie snapped his fingers and told her her family is now the richest in town.
"And your final wish?" the genie asked.
"I wish I had a sabertoothed vagina."
Do you like soccer? My favorite player is Ronaldo, but we can still get Messi.
You’ve got something on your face. Wait, no, it’s just missing something. My dick.
What does the word circumcise mean?
Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.
An optimist says, "The glass is half full."
A pessimist says, "The glass is half empty."
A scientist walks by and says, "You guys are both wrong. The glass is technically completely full because it is half filled with air."
Then Africa comes by and says, "Stop arguing. At least you guys have water!"
They say I have a silver tongue, I'll let you make it white.
We aren't ghosts, but I'll take you under the sheets.
McDonald's worker be like, "Hello, would you like a Mc-Dick?" (You looked down) You: "Uhh, where's my dick?"
What’s black and white and red all over?
A crushed nun!
What’s that black stuff between an elephants toes?
Slow natives.
Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
What do you call it when Panera Bread goes to space?
Good question.
What do you call it when Panera Bread decapitates someone?
Panera Behead.
Are you bisexual...
Or are you hellosexual?
A riddle: My enemy is the Joker, I'm black and I help to save Gotham City. Who am I?
Why was the rapper always calm during a storm?
Because he knew how to RIDE THE FLOW.
Why did the rapper go to school?
To improve his FLOW-CABULARY!
Why did the rapper bring a dictionary to the party?
To drop some WORDPLAY!
Why did the rapper go to the beach?
To drop some WAVES.
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he knew how to cook up FRESH BEETS!
LEO is the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.