Worst Jokes Ever
Yo mama so fat when someone asked her to touch her chin, she asked, "Which one?"
Yo mama so ugly that when Hello Kitty saw her, she said, "Goodbye!"
My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgeon coming in tomorrow. I'm super excited to work with him. The next day, we had to do our first-ever open heart surgery, so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient. We finished the surgery and went outside for a smoke, and we were talking. I said, "Why did you keep the patient's blood on your glove?"
He replied, "We in my free time I test it for anything diseases, HIV." The next day, I got invited to his house, and we had some drinks. I said, "This is amazing red tea. What is in it?" Just the 2000 people you have cut open.
What do you call a fat Indian sat on the floor?
A meatball/malteser.
When the feminists find out that it's humanity, not huwomanity.
Me: Breathe right now if you wanna date me.
Hey Siri, skip to Friday!
(The plane) we can’t go over it, we can’t go under it. Oh no, we have to go through it.
Why is 10 scared?
Because it is in the huddle of 9/11.
Stephen Hawking is just in a role play. He died to a crash in Minecraft.
What do me and a blind person have in common after I look at Alfie's mum?
We're both blind.
What did one twin say to the other?
"Watch out for the plane!"
Teddy’s got a man in his Fanny.
I was reading a great book about an immortal dog the other day.
It was impossible to put down.
"I work with animals," a guy says to his date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he replies.
I threw a paper airplane at the twin sisters. The teacher was upset. I guess they don't read the news.
If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.
So I could put kids inside you.
Reverend Mother walks into the convent and announces:
"Sisters, our carrots have been delivered!"
Nuns exclaim: "Hurray! Carrots!"
Reverend Mother: "They are grated carrots, though."
Nuns: "Ugh! No, thank you then..."
How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.
What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?
One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.