Worst Jokes Ever
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I was sitting in traffic the other day.
Probably why I got run over.
How did Helen Keller drive?
One hand on the wheel, one hand on the road.
Yo mama is so ugly that her portraits hang themselves.
Cool people: I can do anything.
Normal people: I can do nothing.
Do you play COC?
Because it’s a pretty good game.
South Tower: Man, that was da bomb.
North Tower: No, that was da plane.
What's a gun's favorite type of literature?
Magazine.
A woman having labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
“Don’t worry,” said Doc to the worried husband.
“Those are just contractions.”
What is the similarity between math and buildings?
Two parallel lines can be intersected by a plane.
If you text your crush and they leave you on read, just know that "read" has four letters. You know what also has four letters? "Mine." So that basically means that you are theirs. :)
Why did Al Qaeda fail geometry?
'Cause they ruined the Pentagon.
Why was the North Tower a bad doctor when the South Tower collapsed?
Because the North Tower didn’t do CPR.
Why was 6 scared of 7?
Because 7 8 9.
It's all fun and games until they start dancing.
What do you call 5 gays on fire?
LGBBQ.
On a scale from 1 to America, how free are you this weekend?
I’m not religious, but you’re the answer to all of my prayers.
Why did the house go to the doctor?
Because it had a window pane.
What's a lesbian's favorite weapon?
A finger-gun👉👌