Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the rapper go to the optometrist?
Because he needed to improve his RAP VISION.
Is someone who is tardy again actually "retardy"?
Hi, I am Emma. I'm going to Stan.
What do you call a blind German?
A Nazi (not see).
In life, some people have it harder than others.
That's why Viagra exists.
"Captain, captain, there's a man lashed to the mainmast."
"That's your lookout."
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his wife changed the WiFi password, because he was having an affair with his shoulder.
I knew a guy who would always claim he had a buddy with an IQ of 1.
It turns out he was just looking in the mirror.
Q. Why aren't midget jokes funny?
A. They always seem to punch down.
Your hairline is receding so hard, they petitioned it to change for the McDonald's logo.
Your hairline goes so back that it’s ingrained in history.
Your hairline goes so far back that it has no records of it happening in history.
Your forehead is so big, they used it for the Berlin Wall and the USA border.
Your forehead is so big, explorers mistakenly thought it was Mount Everest.
Why does a kid never come home after a fight with their parents? Because they never found the key to the house again.
What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?
A kitchen chair! Your momma sits in it for lunch, and your dad only manages to reattach one of the two legs that broke off by evening.
What does the word circumcise mean?
Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the airplane!"
Why was Balls afraid of Magic?
Because Magic eight Balls.
Q: What's the difference between a CEO and a beer can?
A: Beer cans don't bleed when they get shot.