Worst Jokes Ever
If you think long and hard, oral sex is like cannibals.
I saw a kid wearing tatty rags on a curb, so I asked, "Are you an orphan?"
"Yes," he replied. "What gave me away?" He asked, "Your parents," I said.
22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
Have you seen the inside of Ford's Theatre? It will blow your mind. ~Abraham Lincoln
Why don't cheetahs say goodbye?
Because they are not going to work.
How many orphans does it take to change a light bulb?
Obviously more than three because my basement is still dark.
What did Cinderella wear to the beach?
Glass flippers.
Abortion is becoming more and more expensive these days. So visit Ammu-nation and pick up an Armsan RS-X1 tactical shotgun. It comes with a free box of ammo and a three year warranty. Buy now, pay later.
Rooster.
"Dude come here and see a rabbit!"
"Ok!"
"Are you ok, man?"
"Yeah, I’m fine."
"Dude, pull your pants back up!"
What do you call a criminal?
Disarmed and dangerous.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To reunite with his parents.
Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.
And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.
I cannot believe no one's come up with a cure for anorexia yet. I thought it would be a piece of cake!
My bird. PRETTY BIRD! PRETTY BIRD!
Others CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP!
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes? Cashew.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because he wasn't peeling very well!
Luigi was dying and had two sons. Bruno was handsome, but Alberto was ugly.
He said, "Maria, tell me, is Alberto my son?"
"Yes, Luigi," his wife said, and he died happily.
Wife said, "Thank God he didn’t ask about the other one!"
Q) What is the ONLY zodiac sign ever to be surgically removed?
A) Cancer.
I am a fat girl.