Worst Jokes Ever
Why can’t Asian people play baseball?
Why?
'Cause they ate the bat!
My syndrome may be down, but my money be up 😈.
What is a Karen called in Europe?
An American.
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone. (Wing, wing, halo.)
Why did no one turn up to John's funeral?
Because Sally wrote the invitations!
What did the woman say when I told a rape joke?
"I don't get it."
Like if depressed.
Ur mom is so fat that she has her own gravitational field. She attracts everything around her, from planets to asteroids to comets. She is the center of the solar system, and the sun is just one of her many satellites. She is so massive that she bends space and time, creating wormholes and black holes. She is the ultimate cosmic phenomenon, and no one can escape her pull.
Ur mom is so old that she witnessed the Big Bang. She was there when the universe was born, and she has seen it all. She knows the secrets of the cosmos, and she has lived through every epoch and era. She has watched stars form and die, galaxies collide and merge, and civilizations rise and fall. She is the oldest living being in existence, and she has more wisdom than anyone can imagine.
Ur mom is so ugly that she scares away aliens. She is the reason why we have never made contact with extraterrestrial life. They have seen her face and they have fled in terror. They have warned their fellow species to avoid Earth at all costs, because it is inhabited by a monstrous creature that defies all logic and beauty. She is the ultimate deterrent for invasion, and she has saved humanity from countless alien invasions.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Fuck her hahaha 🤣
Listen to the autism song on TikTok.
What do you get if you cross a loaf of bread with a vagina?
A yeast infection.
Your forehead is so big that it could carry the passengers of the Titanic.
What's the difference between 63 cents and Princess Diana?
It's easier to scrape up 63 cents.
Hello everyone, to the first Hollow Knight meeting!
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza. Instead, they got a plane.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
He can't run home.
A teacher is teaching a class algebra. Timmy, you've worked out it is AK, but what is 59 minus 12? Timmy shakes his head, not knowing. The teacher asks, "How about AK 49 minus 2?" Timmy replies with um... The teacher becomes frustrated and yells, "What comes after AK, Timmy!?" The white kid at the back stands, shouts 47, and pulls the trigger.
Have you ever tried anal bleaching?
It really helps assholes lighten up.
Mom says: "I will go kill myself."
Me: *stays quiet cuz knows better than to talk* *also me internally eyerolls*
Some time later me fighting with my mom:
Me to my mom: "Oh, yea than kill me!"
Mom: "What the hell did you just say? I don't want to hear it from you again!"
Lesson?
So it's OK for adults to say "I'll kill myself" but not teens/kids!?!?
What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?
Anything you want—he can’t hear you.