Worst Jokes Ever
Person with no arms: Even though I have no arms, I can do anything you guys can.
Me: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏 If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏
Person with no arms: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Your hairline retreats from your face just like all the guys that look at you.
I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.
Why?
The ducks keep trying to eat him.
Why would they do that?
Because he’s pure-bread.
Your hairline is so ugly, it’s receding from your face to never see you.
You're so bald that Disney uses your head for movie scripts.
A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus.
"Don't you mean a martini?" asks the bartender.
The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for one!"
What do you call a guy who loves to eat out a hoe's pussy?
Answer: a Carnivwhore.
Katy Perry can't sing, can't dance, doesn't write music, is unbelievably ugly, and is unable to decipher maths or science. Really though, I didn't realize going down on a record executive would later lead her to be one of the people able to go to space.
When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.
She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.
I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!
The tortoise can't go out to play, Or sell his house or rent it. For when he moves, his house moves too, And nothing can prevent it.
What's the worst possible thing to be playing during the funeral of a bridge-collapse victim?
Fall Guys.
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw in some laundry...
Yo mama is so ugly, when she went for plastic surgery, they accidentally gave her face a Brazilian Butt Lift!
BlessedBrian must have been born on April Fools’ Day... because he’s a joke every day of the year.
BlessedBrian’s mom’s birth certificate is a COLLECTOR’S ITEM.
Blessed Brian, your secrets are safe with me... because I wasn’t listening when you told them.
Yo, Leo, are you an interior decorator? Because when you enter a room, it becomes EMPTY!
Why did the rapper become a gardener?
Because he wanted to drop some FRESH SEEDS.
Yo mama is so dumb, when she had a brain scan, the result was 404...
What did the rapper say to his broken pencil?
"You're just not SHARP enough for my lyrics!"