Worst Jokes Ever
Mississippi girls are missing a "pp."
Q. What's red and crawls up your leg?
A. A homesick abortion.
Why did the people think Stephen Hawking was disrespectful?
'Cause he didn't stand up for the national anthem.
Why was the Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it wanted to look up a 10 year old girl’s skirt.
There is a Mexican, white guy, a Jew, and a Black man on top of the Empire State Building.
First, the Mexican and the Jew throw themselves off of the building saying, "This is for my people!"
Then the Black man is next up to jump and says, "This is for my people!"
And throws the White man off of the building.
Did you know the Bible has a passage about killing babies by smashing them against rocks?
That's probably because microwaves hadn't been invented yet.
I was crying while my dad was cutting onions in the kitchen. Onions was such a good dog.
Lol, I have no life :)
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they cannot find home.
When you have to get your prostate checked and you can feel the cold rubber of the glove, but you realize both the doctor's hands are on your shoulders.
A blind man once told me he smokes a lot because he has nothing to look forward to. Well, let's just say that I see his point.
Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to get to the other side.
Q: What’s the hardest thing about fucking a dude with a dildo?
A: Making sure he doesn’t wake up.
Yo mama so fat, she sunk the Titanic.
Why did the straight white caucasian male cross the road?
Because a black person was approaching.
A man asks God, "Hello God, why did you make my wife so dumb?"
God replies, "So she would love you..."
No matter how lonely you get, you have Explain Bear.
Explain Bear is always there for you.
I don't beat up midgets.
That would be punching down.
What did the Buddhist say to the pizza delivery boy?
"Make me one with everything."
How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.