Worst Jokes Ever
Stephen Hawking is just in a role play. He died to a crash in Minecraft.
What do me and a blind person have in common after I look at Alfie's mum?
We're both blind.
What did one twin say to the other?
"Watch out for the plane!"
Teddy’s got a man in his Fanny.
I was reading a great book about an immortal dog the other day.
It was impossible to put down.
"I work with animals," a guy says to his date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he replies.
I threw a paper airplane at the twin sisters. The teacher was upset. I guess they don't read the news.
If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.
So I could put kids inside you.
Reverend Mother walks into the convent and announces:
"Sisters, our carrots have been delivered!"
Nuns exclaim: "Hurray! Carrots!"
Reverend Mother: "They are grated carrots, though."
Nuns: "Ugh! No, thank you then..."
How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.
What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?
One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.
Time flies by, doesn’t it?
But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.
Yo mama so stupid, she put a battery up her a** and said, "I GOT THE POWER!"
I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RCXD.
Sam's mum is so fat, when she fell down the stairs, I thought EastEnders finished!
How did a man know his wife died?
Dishis start piling up.
Why did Hitler never go to a strip club?
Because he hated the Poles!
A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.
One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”
Your hairline left you because you were too ugly for your push back hairline.