Worst Jokes Ever
A man and a boy were walking through a dark forest. The boy said, “I’m scared.” The man said, “Why are you scared? I’m the one who’s going to leave these woods alone.”
What does the blind man say when walking past the fish market?
“Good evening, ladies.”
What do orphans and dinosaurs have in common?
Their parents are extinct.
How did Helen Keller burn her cheek? She answered the iron.
How did she burn the other cheek? They called back.
What is the weirdest thing to wear and what is the weirdest thing to say?
Weirdest thing to ware: Socks with sandals, also with flip flops!
Weirdest thing to say: "Would you rather be a bath or a toilet?" "The blue angel sea slug looks like an alien." (weird).
Bonus: Things to ware with other things: Crop top with t-shirt (really hip), Crop top with tights or shorts, dresses with tights! (Cool) Oh well byeeeeeee!
Why do orphans eat cereal without milk?
Because their dad never came home from the store.
What did the salad say to the chef? LETTUCE GO!!!
In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.
Snake one: Are we venomous?
Snake two: Yep!... Why do you ask?
Snake one: Cuz I just bit my tongue!!! (Drama scene)
Why did the 18-year-old girl need a ladder to go to school?
Because it was High School.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor: 10 babies in one trash can.
Morbid humor: 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
Why did the nose cross the road to find the person who "nose"?
Do you know why you never mess with an orphan?
Because they’ve got guardians!
What does "bitch" mean?
Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"
What food makes you smart? Salt, because it's a mined food.
Q: What did the person who invented the door knocker get?
A: A no-bell prize.
"I spy with my little eye..."
- Noting I am blind -
Welcome to David's Morgue, you stab 'em, we slab 'em!
You know what pun is used for "waist?"
Nothing. You'll find nothing.
It's just a waste of time.
What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?
They both got a 10% survival rate...