Trust your calculator. It's something to count on.
What did Santa use as a candy cane?
Wait, wait, I said it wrong.
Okay.
What did Santa use to do his garden...never mind.
Dcexcedcrd.
A jumping cable walked into a bar and the bartender said,
"I will serve you, but don't start anything!"
How do you fit 53 babies into a box?
First get a blender...
Where do sheep go to shop? Shears.
Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart.
I made sure it didn't outsmart me.
How do you get ten babies in a bowl?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
Doritos.
My new leaf blower doesn't work. It sucks.
My family is like treasure. I need a map and shovel to find them.
You're like a vacuum cleaner. Why? Because you suck.
You know the drill, but do you know the hammer? Hah, nailed that one.
But I also think I screwed it up.
666 + 420 + 911 + 21 = ?
Do it in calculator.
What's better than throwing dead babes?
Catching them after with a pitchfork.
The shovel was a groundbreaking invention.
I will never forget my Grandpa's last words: "What are you doing with that rope and saw?"
I really need jokes for my Atom bookmark project :3
What type of file do you need to turn a 14 centimeter hole into a 40 centimeter hole?
A pedophile.
My mom gave me a golden shovel and a hoe. I said, "Why do I need this?" She said, "That you every year."
I'll never forget my mother's last words: "What are you doing with that sledgehammer?"
