Too Bad

Too Bad jokes

Emo kid

So sad when the emo kid tried to give a high five to a tree.

Too bad he left him hanging.

Charity

I donated 100 dollars to a blind children’s charity. Too bad they won’t ever see a dime of it.

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  • Kelly Clarkson

    Kelly Clarkson wants to be Rosie O'Donnell so badly. Too bad Kelly is the "Queen of Incest" and not the "Queen of Nice".

    (And Kelly came from a sundown town in the Deep South, and not from Long Island.)

    Son

    When my son was little, he loved to draw. Although he would always rip up the paper whenever there was one little slip up. Too bad he became a tattoo artist.....

    Friend

    Two friends were hanging out with each other next to a tree.

    Too bad only one was standing. :)

    Health

    I would've made a joke about Alzheimer's, too bad I forgot about it...

    Food

    I remember the time Gordon Ramsay did an African food episode... too bad it was so short he couldn’t find any.

    Episode

    I remember the time that Gordon Ramsay did an African food episode... it was a short episode. Too bad he couldn’t find any.

    Trade

    Today I passed the exams to be a funeral director!

    Too bad it's a dying trade. :)

    Cunt

    Ok, now I'm not good at telling jokes, but this one is not too bad. One cunt said to another cunt, "Do you get cold at night?"

    "Fuck no, cunt," the first cunt said, "Why?"

    "I have a built-in set of vertical curtains to keep the cold out, cunt!" xx

    Marriage

    A man and a woman get married. The woman was a retired hooker. The man was a poet.

    The man said as they did 69, "You taste better than my most delicious gourmet meal." The woman said, "Well, you aren’t too bad either, but the best 69 I’ve gotten and given was Harry. He did it for 24 hours nonstop." They got divorced that night.

    Giraffe

    Did you know the giraffe’s hooves are the size of dinner plates? Too bad they would have nothing to put on them!

    Stephen Hawking

    Man, I’m so sorry that Stephen Hawking is dead; he was such a good person.

    Too bad it’s a staircase to Heaven and not a ramp.

    Rape

    It’s too bad G won’t be able to follow in Kobe’s footsteps and rape a hotel employee but not serve one minute in jail.

    Squirrel

    The other day a squirrel asked me for a job. I asked him, "What jobs did you have previously?"

    Calmly he answered, "I am a pilot. I can pick it up from here and pile it over there. I also can fly a sign!"

    "Too bad, this is a nut cannery, and we're 100% automated. We don't need anyone at this time, sorry."

    "No worries, I'm totally nuts anyway. Guess I'll fly a sign across town, don't have bus fare!"