So sad when the emo kid tried to give a high five to a tree.
Too bad he left him hanging.
So sad when the emo kid tried to give a high five to a tree.
Too bad he left him hanging.
I donated 100 dollars to a blind children’s charity. Too bad they won’t ever see a dime of it.
They say Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn't cry.
Kelly Clarkson wants to be Rosie O'Donnell so badly. Too bad Kelly is the "Queen of Incest" and not the "Queen of Nice".
(And Kelly came from a sundown town in the Deep South, and not from Long Island.)
Two friends were hanging out with each other next to a tree.
Too bad only one was standing. :)
Today I passed the exams to be a funeral director!
Too bad it's a dying trade. :)
A man and a woman get married. The woman was a retired hooker. The man was a poet.
The man said as they did 69, "You taste better than my most delicious gourmet meal." The woman said, "Well, you aren’t too bad either, but the best 69 I’ve gotten and given was Harry. He did it for 24 hours nonstop." They got divorced that night.
Like my daddy? Too bad you don't have one.
Man, I’m so sorry that Stephen Hawking is dead; he was such a good person.
Too bad it’s a staircase to Heaven and not a ramp.
The other day a squirrel asked me for a job. I asked him, "What jobs did you have previously?"
Calmly he answered, "I am a pilot. I can pick it up from here and pile it over there. I also can fly a sign!"
"Too bad, this is a nut cannery, and we're 100% automated. We don't need anyone at this time, sorry."
"No worries, I'm totally nuts anyway. Guess I'll fly a sign across town, don't have bus fare!"