30 people died in a car wreck before they got to Heaven God asked for one wish because they died in a tragic way the first lady she was obsessed with her looks so she asked to be beautiful and God granted her wish the next person didn't know what to wish for so they wish for the same thing the guy in the very back was laughing having a grand old time then god got to the person before the last he aaid the same he wished to be beautiful when God got to the last person he said I want them all to be ugly again.
Did you know Princess Diana was on the radio the night she died?
To be honest, she was on the whole dashboard too.
Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. Paddy agrees to tell Seamus` wife the bad news. He knocks on the door and Seamus` wife answers. " Whats happened Paddy?" Paddy frowns. " Im sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, im so sorry." She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly?" Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee."
A couple is sitting down, holding hands, and having a picnic after their wedding when the husband's friend walks over and says,
"Jenny and Jonathan sittin in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, the comes abrupt, tragic miscarriage! Then comes blame. Then comes despair, two hearts damaged, beyond repair. Johnathan leaves Jenny, and writes on the tree: D-I-V-O-R-C-E."
3 men walk into heaven at the same time. they all live in the same city. god asks the first man "how did you die?" the man says "I have a heart condition and iv'e been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. anyway I get how from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hang of the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guys fingers! he falls into a bush so I throw a refrigerator on him." God asks the next man "how did you die?" the man says I was cleaning the windows and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! luckily I fall safely in a bush! but then a refrigerator falls on me!" god asks the third man he says" I was the one in the fridge!"
As tragic as school shootings are - it's also a quick way to a late term abortion
i'm a pilot and my boss told me to fly people to new york so i flew them to new york and hit the towers that was a tragic story
What do you call a basketball player with erectile dysfunction?
Tragic Johnson.
why did the orphan not call 911 when he saw a tower catch fire? Cuz he did not want any kids to go through the same pain.
They finally released the audio recording from the black box in Kobe’s helicopter. Apparently when the helicopter caught fire Kobe was sitting right next to the only fire extinguisher. You could hear everyone screaming for him to put out the fire but he couldn’t figure out how to use it. They begged and pleaded for him to give the extinguisher to anyone else... the last thing you hear is Kobe saying “I’d rather die than pass it”
