Told Jokes

I told a Chinese man, which is better, Cats or dogs. He said dogs. I say why? He said because dogs tasted better Than cats

My mom told me to be positive ... I was heading to a HIV test.

Went to the doctor told him Ive been having dreams first about a wigwam then about a teepee he said I was 2 tents

I broke my arm in two places. You know what the doctor told me? Stay out of those places!

A guy told me, "Nothing rhymes with orange." So I replied, "No it doesn't."

My wife told me she was fat and depressed. She asked me to compliment her so I said. "You have perfect eyesight!"

My ex's dad died while she was texting me she said she had a boyfriend but I told her I had a dad.

Biggest lie ever told: it was the cat.

my mom told me to go to bed but then I grabbed a drink went in their room to say goodnight and they looked like adam and eve on steroids

i saw a girl crying i told her where are your parents She cried more after that i got kicked out of the Orphanage

Hey, you know what I told the kid on wheel chair?

I told him to be a stand up comedian

Our teacher told us to write a story about the life of a object that's not alive, so i wrote a story about an emo kid

Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me? Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.

Why did the Texas cow own its own dachshund? The cowboy told it to "get along little doggie".

JFK tried meditating he told everyone he is very open-minded.

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes So she gave me a hug