Told jokes

I was at a friend's place yesterday, and... There was a mother, father, three sons, and a daughter.

That night the mother and father started fucking each other. I yelled and told them there are innocent children in this house.

An hour later, they started up again. I walked to their room and they were asleep, so I looked in the brothers' room and all three brothers were fucking the sister.

I sighed at this. "Incest aside, you guys make a cute family." I started, "So Anna, when am I gonna have nieces and nephews?" They stopped instantly and went to sleep. "Thank you," I replied before walking back to my room they let me sleep in and I passed out for the rest of the night.

I was always told I’m too small to ride, but every girl I’ve been with rated me a 9.5.

I called my mom on Alexa, and she told me, "Please take out the trash." I said, "But I can't, you're not here."

The annoying orange told the annoying, insecure, beta bitch orange that he wants to be the most annoying thing on Earth again.

My friend's emo. I told her to play jump rope with me. She hanged herself. Lol.

I saw some kid following me, so I told him to go back to his family.

Orphan: "What family?"

If I told you Jeremy Palacios was not GAY!

I'd be a liar.

What did the woman say when I told a rape joke?

"I don't get it."

I told my friend to fly a plane,

But he threw a ramp off a roof.

I told my dad, "I just thought of something funny." He said, "Your face?"

I went on a date last night and told my date I worked with animals every day.

She said, "Oh, how sweet. What do you do?" I said, "I'm a butcher."

I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hairdryer.

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.

She looked at me surprised.

(P.S. I am not at that age plus I am as straight as a helix ruler.)

I told my sister a Dairy joke.

She said it was cheesy.

I was the manager at a McDonald’s in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application. I asked him to show me his skills and experience, but he just started diving and asking for pens and tap-ins. I was confused until Penaldo told me that’s all he knows how to do.

Friend: Why did you touch me?

Me: That guy in the corner with no hair, glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.

Little Susie had gotten her first period. She told her mom, and they bought pads.

The next month, Susie's mom asked if she had her second one. Suzie said no, and her mom fainted!

"I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth," the woman told her dentist.

He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."

Yo mama is so old, I told her to act her age, and she died.

Child: Mom, someone told me you talk like an owl.

Teacher: Who?

Child: Oh, it is true, you do talk like an owl!