Little Susie had gotten her first period. She told her mom, and they bought pads.
The next month, Susie's mom asked if she had her second one. Suzie said no, and her mom fainted!
I was the manager at a McDonald’s in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application. I asked him to show me his skills and experience, but he just started diving and asking for pens and tap-ins. I was confused until Penaldo told me that’s all he knows how to do.
My enemy told me I’m adopted, so I told him at least I got adopted.
"I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth," the woman told her dentist.
He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."
Child: Mom, someone told me you talk like an owl.
Teacher: Who?
Child: Oh, it is true, you do talk like an owl!
Yo mama is so old, I told her to act her age, and she died.
I told a blonde she needed gas for her car, and she farted into the gas tank.
One day I walk up to an emo kid. I realized he had a fresh cut, so I grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him, "I like ya cut, G!"
Somebody told me to go to hell, so I walked up to Donald Trump.
One time, Little Johnny heard his parents "wrestling" in their bed. So the next morning, he went to rape all the little girls in school. This then led to his demise.
No girls told on him, but when he grew up, he was a raper. He never stopped. In total, "little" Johnny had over 31 sons that he didn't know about. When he was sentenced to jail, he raped all the inmates despite his small figure. He was then sent to the death sentence, "eagle wing" torture style.
His parents were happy he died, and the morbid rapist was put down, never to return again. However, all the sons had his genes, including his MINDSET. They then became a cult and shot down 2014 cops, 471 military members and 72951 males and females. The kids, you ask? Only the males were spared, and taught how to operate the guns. All but 419 females were killed. They soon became the world's strongest empire. No one could stop Little Johnny's sons. NO ONE.
My sons into astromancy asked me how do stars die so I told him usually on overdose son.
Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
My cousin just broke up with his girlfriend, and I told him, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of her stuff."
My cousin just broke up with her boyfriend, and I told her, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of his stuff."
rose are red, violet are blue, you told me I'm ugly nah you look like a monkey
Why did the blonde have sex with a Mexican? Her teacher told her that she had to do an essay.
My reverse psychologist told me I didn't have it in me to make a recovery.
I told my friend to look at the clock, then I said, "Is this a bad time?"
Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart.
I made sure it didn't outsmart me.
Why did the Texas cow own its own dachshund?
The cowboy told it to "get along little doggie."
