I told my sister a Dairy joke,
She said it was cheesy.
I told my wife* she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked at me surprised
*(P.S. I am not at that age plus I am as straight as an helix ruler)
Little Susie had gotten her first period. She told her mom and they bought pads. The next month, Susie's mom asked if she had her second one. Suzie said no and her mom fainted
I was the manager at a McDonald’s in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application, I asked him to show me his skills and experience but he just started diving and asking for pens and tapins, I was confused until Penaldo told me that’s all he knows how to do.
Friend: Why did you touch me? Me: That guy in the corner with no hair , glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.
A blind man once told me, he smokes a lot because he has nothing to look forward. Well, let just say that I see his point.
Child: mom someone told me you talk like an owl
teacher: who
Child: oh it is true you do talk like an owl
I told a blonde she needed gas for her car and she farted into the gas tank.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
My enemy told me I’m adopted so I told him at at least I got adopted
"I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth,"the woman told her dentist. He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."
one day i walk up to a emo kid i realized he had a fresh cut so i grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him i like ya cuts g
Somebody told me to go to hell so I walked up to Donald Trump.
Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart.
I made sure it didn't outsmart me.
Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
Some kid in a wheelchair called me fat
I told her do a wheelie
My sons into astromancy asked me how do stars die so I told him usually on overdose son.
I told my friend to look at the clock then I said. " is this a bad time
my mom told me to unplug all the electronics so i unplugged my grandma Life Support
My girlfriend told me she’s sad because she’s put on a bit of weight I told her to keep her chins up
