Toilet Paper Jokes

Anonymous
in Puns

Why did the toilet paper cross the road? It was on a roll

Anonymous

Why do people keep saying why did the toilet paper not cross because it got stuck in the crack because it got stuck in their crack.

5
Anonymous

Last time I got a piece of ass was hen my finger went through the toilet paper.

0
your mom

“do you know the differance between wallpaper and toilet paper” replys “no” “gross”

Arianna✨

Why can I toilet paper cross the road because the toilet paper got stuck in a crack🤣🤣🤣

Someone

Women are like rolls of toilet paper they are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot and they deal with a lot of s##t.

0
Anonymous

What did the poo say to the fart: You blow me away

William

Toothbrush says I have the worst job ever. Toilet paper says you think your job shity.

Elle Poirier
in Adult

I see how it is y’all be buying toilet paper stocking up from the Coronavirus but where on the symptoms does it say diarrhea lol why y’all be buying toilet paper now I am just confused

8
Hi
in Yo mama

Yo mama is so skinny she uses floss as toilet paper

2
papyrus

the toilet paper tried to cross the road he couldnt because he was stuck in a CRACK

9
Johnny

When it comes to recycling toilet paper you really need to process the crap out of it.

SEX

A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, “I’ll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, ‘I don’t know how you can make love to me with your type of body.’ So I asked her, ‘How about a little head?’”

Other jokes:

  1. Why did the ketchup blush? He saw the salad dressing.

  2. What did the elephant ask the naked man? How do you breathe out of that thing?

  3. How do you make your husband scream during sex? Call him and let him hear it.

  4. Why does the mermaid wear seashells? She outgrew her b-shells!

  5. How is life like toilet paper? You’re either on a roll or taking shit from someone.

  6. What does one boob say to the other boob? If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.

  7. What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A man will actually search for a golf ball.

  8. What did Cinderella do when she arrived at the ball? She gagged.

3
Anonymous

why did the toilet paper cross the road?

to get to the rear end

Anonymous

How is toilet paper recycled?

Easier than you would think, but first they have to process the crap out of it.

Anonymous

What did the toilet paper say to the other toilet paper? Hey check me out I’m on a roll! 😂😂🤭🤭

Hottamale

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

To get to the bottom.

2
Anonymous
in Wife

My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive. I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked “How is that supposed to work?”. I replied, “I don’t know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!”

Anonymous

Why did the toilet paper cross the road? To wipe the chickens ass!

Anonymous

What’s the name of a crazy crap that Wins everything ?? Winnie da POOH🌻✌💚✌