Paper product jokes

What did one piece of toilet paper say to the other? "I feel really wiped."

What do you call a two-dimensional owl? A Paper Towl!

Q: Why did the toilet paper cross the road?

A: It did not want to get stuck in a crack.

Why can't the toilet paper cross the road? It was stuck in a crack.

My friend tried to sleep on napkins.

I guess that's why they're called NAP-kins.

Why did you put your dirty ass feet in my grits without telling me all this?

Because I forgot to wash and dry them with a paper towel.

Wanna hear a terrible joke?

Paper

Pretty tear-able, huh?

Do trees shit?

Well, how else would we get #2 pencils?

Badass Toilet Paper Company: We don't take shit off of anyone.

I figured out why everyone is buying toilet paper. Because a huge rock is headed towards Earth, and paper covers rock.

So, I heard Bounty, the maker of paper towels, has decided to get into the Male Enhancement business...

...their new slogan?

The Quicker Pecker Upper.