To-do jokes
What do emo kids like to do in their spare time?
Hanging out.
Sister: I don't want to do it, but...
Me: No more butts! Butts are too yuck to be in this sentence.
My girlfriend's dog died, so I got her a new one in replacement, and she went off on me and yelled,
"What am I supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"
Yo mama is so strict that Thanos couldn't collect the Infinity Stones until he had done his homework.
Why do crack heads like to do it doggy style?
So one can peep out window and one can peep on floor.
How do homeless people punish their children?
What are their children going to do? Go to their room?
People always often say to someone who are thinking about suicide that's the easy way out. Don't give up! All I say is I'm not giving up, just I'm giving in, and does it really seem like it's the easiest way out? I don't think so, it's probably the hardest if you ask me, or I would have done it already, but someone's got to do it.
One day at school, Little Johnny and his friends were asked to do a sheet of paper which said, βPut a matching word from the word bank into the slot in the sentence that makes it make sense.β But when the teacher marked Little Johnny's papers, she asked why he put the word "bank" in every slot. And he says, βWell teacher, you said to put a word from the word bank and that's one word! So I had no choice but to put down that word!β
Imagine being such a low life that you need people to roast you to have stuff to do.
Jesus has had all the time in the world and all the power in the world to do whatever he wanted.
Guess what he has to show for nothing, but putting us in hell!
Being an absolute waste breathe of life, and of power!
A man goes to a motel room and sees a woman tied up and she said, "Help me please!" He had to do some forceful thinking.
An LDS preacher knocks on the door with a chalice of wine offering to do the sacrament.
The person living there points and says, "Begone, foul blood-drinker!"
And promptly the preacher bursts into flames, leaving nothing but ash.
Why wasn't Michael Jackson admitted to college? He refused to declare a major; he only wanted to do minors.
Why is it illegal to do reverse cowgirl in Alabama? You never turn your back to your family.
No offense to anyone though. I donβt understand why everyone is bullying a person named Gwen?
My opinion is well βitβs just a regular person wanting to do jokes. You never know. It could be an adult or a kid.β
So leave her alone. Thank you. π
I was the manager at a McDonaldβs in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application. I asked him to show me his skills and experience, but he just started diving and asking for pens and tap-ins. I was confused until Penaldo told me thatβs all he knows how to do.
What did George Washington Carver have anything to do with gorillas? It's a little possible, ya dummy!
Akeld: All I want to do is mess with Gwen!
Gwen: LEAVE ME ALONE!
Akeld: NOT EVER!
Little Johnny is walking in the hallway and goes in his brother's room and catches him watching something, so he asks, "What you watching?" His brother replies, "Nothing," and drops his phone. But then he gets a text from his teacher, who texted him a picture of her naked, saying, "After school come fuck me." So Johnny looks and says, "Ew, I'm telling Mom," and he ran with his brother's phone and showed his mom, and his mom said, "Ok, Johnny, I'll take care of you brother," and she told him to leave, and he did.
And his brother ran in his mom's room naked, and his mom said, "Oh, that's big. How about you do what your teacher told you to do to her, to me?" And a few hours later, Johnny heard weird noises coming from the room, so he walked in and saw them (his brother and mom) having sex, so he closed the door and walked away.
Chapter 1. "Kid teacher"
Mrs. Lewis: Class, I want everyone to look at their textbooks and find a reasonable essay topic. My suggestion is page 232 or 678. Now, this essay counts as the final grade for the semester. Now do it, or you will repeat 5th grade again! Now turn to page 100, and we'll start reading from there. Do you all understand?
Neilela: Yes ma'am, quick question, we don't have to do it today... do we?
Mrs. Lewis: Yes! It is today!
Andrua: It sounds boring, and all I have to do today is be a big jerk who gives way too much instruction.
Mrs. Lewis: Anyway, let's get to work.
56 hours later.
Mrs. Lewis: Kids, when I call you, please tell me what you liked about your essay. When I call your name, Carl.
Carl: Why me? Yes?
Mrs. Lewis: What did you like about the story, Carl?
Carl: Um... I liked it when... um... um... um... um...
Jeklen: He didn't even read the story because he's too busy trying to look up the letter "J" and its meaning!
Carl: Jeklen, shut up and stop biting your hair.
Jeklen: At least I know what the letter "J" is.
Mrs. Lewis: Class, please listen. Carl, did you read the story that I asked you?
Carl: Well, not really because you were the one reading it in class, so...
Vronica: For real!
Carl: Mhmmm
Mrs. Lewis: Listen class, this homework needs to be done today! DO IT!
Kimbriel: Ms. Lewis, I have a lot of questions about tonight's homework.
Mrs. Lewis: Yes?
Kimbriel: You assigned so many things just for a little test! What?
Mrs. Lewis: I need a break! Peyton, you're in charge!
All students: NO, NOT PEYTON !!!!!!
Peyton: Me? In charge? Of the class?
Jessica: Wow, but you're all about the boredom!
Peyton: Shut up! yeeeeeeee
Peyton: Ms. Lewis, there must be a mistake, how can I be in charge? I'm 11... I think...
Ari: To think that yesterday she thought she was 8 years old.
Oh sorry... I think.
Mrs. Lewis: Have you ever heard of a teacher's vacation?
All students: That's not a thing!
I never heard of it...
Mrs. Lewis: Well, me and Ms. Sumrall, we are going on a "teacher vacation", we can do it because we become calmer, or we don't get angry at the students. AND WE CAN DO IT!
Khloe: Why?
Mrs. Lewis: Because I am an adult.
Ms. Sumrall: Is Petrina ready?
Ms. Lewis: Yes, thank goodness for this!
Kenya: Bye? "Chapter 2" To be continued...