To-do

To-do jokes

Lesbian

    • In Junior High, we had to do a report on euthanasia. I misunderstood the report and wrote about how I'd really like a Korean girlfriend.

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    • Friend

    • Jonny went fishing and he didn’t know how to cast his pole, and he asked his friend Joe how to cast it. Then when he cast, he only cast 3 feet, and he never learned how to do it.

    Soviet

    • Lenin was on his deathbed, with Stalin sitting by his side.

    Lenin says: "What are you going to do after I die? They might not follow you."

    Stalin responds: "Then they'll follow you."

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    • To-do memes

    Kitchen

    • Me: What do you want to do for your birthday?

    Fiancé: I want to go somewhere I've never been before!

    Me: Well welcome to the Kitchen!

    Orphan

    • You can get into a fight with an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

    Mayo

    • If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?

    Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!

    Orphan

    • Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*

    Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.

    Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?

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    • Poem

    • I know this is a really bad poem, but I'll do it anyway 'cause I have nothing else to do.

    'Twas so pretty a night, with people all asleep. Everyone's dreaming of that candy apple treat, and a palace. But alas! No, it's all a dream. Even eating ice cream, it's all a dream! Why can't I have this? Why can't I have that? BUT NO! It's just hitting you like a bat. YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE IT, you say to yourself. All for me, all for me, and et cetera. It goes on and on. But why wish for riches? You're already rich enough. If you have a device, then take my advise, if you were poor you would have spent the money on food, like honey, not something that... OF ALL THINGS IS GOOGLE!

    Like I said, it's really bad. :(

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