My grandpa has a world record for holding his breath. He's been holding it for 6 years.
A doctor walks up to a dying man and sadly says: "I'm sorry, the test shows you only have 10 more to live." The man says " 10!? 10 what!? Years? Weeks? Days? What?!!?" The doctor calmly replies "Nine"
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What do a pedophile and a clock have in common...neither of them go pass 12.
I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. -- I'm not really a mourning person.
I'm a fast reader, I can go through 20 stories in a few seconds.
I've just been fired from the clock making factory after all those extra hours I put in.
one time i broke up with my roblox girlfriend by sending her a message, 30 seconds later i heard my uncle crying in the next room
What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? they both start at 12.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A man walks into a bar and orders three shots. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Well... My oldest son just came out..." The man finishes the shots and leaves the bar. The next day, the man comes back and orders four shots. "What now?" the bartender asks. "My middle son just came out." The man finishes his drinks and leaves. He comes back the next day and orders five shots. "Again?" the bartender asks. "Yeah. My youngest son." He drinks his shots and leaves. The next day, he comes in again. This time, he orders ten shots. "My God! Is there anyone in your family that likes girls??" the bartender asks. "Yeah... My wife."
Chuck Norris and Time had a race...
Result: Time is still running...
I think my coworkers are gay. -- Every time I walk by, they mumble, "What an ass."
I won't reply on every jokes today because I want to say thanks (to everyone) for making funny jokes here... Every time I have a bad day (almost everyday), I always go here and read relatable jokes, its makes me happy and its making me less anxious. I am really stressed on my school works and everything, I feel that I'm being left alone. Everyone compares me to others and all I can do is listen. I don't get enough sleep because of it... Reading these jokes entertain me and making me laugh so hard. *I apologize for my grammar
A kid annoyed me the other day. I told him to shut up and go back to his parents. That's the last time I'm going to an orphanage.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
The average human male walks for five miles, but the gas station is ten miles away. So why does it take fifteen years for my dad to buy cigarettes?
As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.
Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.
I have a joke about time travel, but I'm not gonna share it. You guys didn't like it.
