What time is it when you walk in to the wall ? Time to get to bed 🛏
How many times can 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out
They Are making a movie about clocks.
It’s about time.
What did the mother cow say to the baby cow? “It’s pasture bed time.”
how to make time fly
answer throw a clock out of the window
An unfortunate accident happend at the nestlè factory,a man nammed joe was seriously injourd because a box of choclates fell on him. Every time he said “The choclates are on me!” every one cheerid.
Thank you for reading if you use this on another catagory please give me credit by saying my name at the end. P.s my name is None of your buissnes. Seriously.
A 13 year old girl is having a sleepover so one of her friends asks when was the last time you had an orgasm? she replies 3 days ago dad comes bursting in i KNEW YOU WERE FAKING LAST NIGHT
What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.
Teacher: Great! You’re studying in break time! Student: Thank you. I heard that it is good to study before sleep.
Once there were twins, Mark and Michael, Mark was the owner of a old boat. It so happened that Michael’s wife died the same day that Mark’s boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I’m sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible. "Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, “Heck no. In fact, I’m sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shrivelled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn’t very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!” The old lady fainted. 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂
I am right 95 percent of the time, who cares about that other 7 percent?
Chuck Norris and Time had a race…
Result: Time is still running…
I tried to find my watch I lost last week but I didn’t have the time
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. – I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Next time at walmart I’m going to scan my wrist they are basically barcodes
Vagina jokes aren’t funny.
Moist of the time.
Who are the fastest readers of all time?
People who jumped out of the twin towers. Why? Because they went through 13 stories within 5 seconds.
A man shoots up a School and then fakes his own death, he then later returns to shoot up the same school, he repeats the prosses a few times untill the police catch him, when they ask why he did it, he replied “I wondered when you would check if i was still breathing”
I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realised they didn’t fit me around the waist so I went looking for a belt. I couldn’t find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waist of time.
What time do butts get up? At the crack of dawn!!!