Chuck Norris can make 5 minute frosting in 4 minutes.
Is your name suicide because I think about you all the time
A elderly woman and an elderly man were at a retirement home The man was shuffling a deck of cards for a card game The man asks "Is it your first time?" The woman replies "It's been a while since a man has asked me that."
What does your first football game and your first time having sex have in common? You were bloody and battered but at least you're dad came.
What time is it when when a nurse 👩⚕️ s
What do you call a dog 🐶 that tells time?
A watchdog.
2020 was the first time Kobe had passed in years
When someone tells me to kill myself
Panic! At The Disco: Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time
I remember the first time I went to one of Luis Fonsi's concerts... I wanted to commit DEATHpacito so badly.
Person: 'Doctor, doctor I've only got 50 seconds to live'
Doctor: 'Just give me a minute'
billie: hi
me: you wanna hear a story?
billie: yes sure
me: once upon a time, i ran over your dog last night.
Johnny Depp once said in an interview: "I get older, my girlfriends stay the same age."
Maybe Johnny Depp's soulmate isn't born yet. We'll see in 20-25 years.
2 old people sitting on a bench one turns to the other and says my butt fell asleep the other says yep i heard it snore a couple of times
What is the fastest thing in the world?
James Charles when he sees little boys
I can find the end of time before I find your hairline.
so I and my friend were talking this time, I asked them what they would do if they ever met rengoku they said that they would probably like shake his hand or sm but I said I would lick his forehead. wtf
So my mom sent a text saying, "I'm gonna need help carrying groceries when I get back." That was 3 months ago.
i hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though i think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldnt wanna hurt your funny bone, but i think your starting to get BONELY so ill stop pulling your leg. Now get out before i give you a bad time.
you
In my spare time I help blind children. -- I mean the verb, not the adjective.
