Time jokes
1. Your face is so ugly, I thought it was deformed. It probably was anyways.
2. Even if Donald Trump had time to build a wall, it was probably so you won't squish us with your fatass.
If someone says your face is deformed, just say that's what happens when I look at you.
Welcome.
How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
Last time I talked to my girlfriend, she was yelling at me to put the hammer down.
Emo kids are so good at kicking football. I hear they have good hang time.
My town's population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.
It's that time is year again!
It's a little known fact that Helen Keller was against teaching deaf people sign language and thought they should be forced to use oral language.
Weird.
Last time I forced somebody into oral, I got arrested.
A girl walks up to her friend with sunglasses she missed very much.
She told her, "Hey, long time no see."
Two men are in a rainforest, and one of them is peeing. Suddenly, a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!” He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car, so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened, and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out.” The man went back to the other man and said, “There is no hope, you will die.”
The longer the relationship, the longer the breakup will hurt you. Better break up now ooo.🤣
What time is it when dogs are an appointment? Time to scream!
Yo mama so old that she knew "The Outsiders" when they were "The Insiders."
2 times 4 equals 18?
Me: *finds out my dad's an orphan*
No one:
Literally no one:
Me: Time to make his life hell.😈
One time I ate a chair.
Say "joke" 5 times.
Oh, nothing happened.
Mommy is a YouTuber, she can never spend time with me.
Hey, guess what I got for my birthday.
No, what did you get? Older.
One time I was playing a bongo at a Chinese restaurant.
But they were competing against a Cuban restaurant and killed me.
What's the second hardest thing in the morning?
The first hardest thing. 🍆
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.