Life is like a film it goes on but you can cut at anytime
In my free time, I like to help blind people
Verb, not adjective
my girlfriend dumped me today apparently I don't stand up for her in fights I don't care she use to push me around all the time
I'm in jail for 5 minutes and I already got fucked 15 times. You don't have any ideea how much I hate playing monopoly with my dad.
Who is the only person time waits for? Nun.
What time eeeeeee
are you a camera? because every time I look at you I smile
Doctor: you don't have long to live. 10... Patient: ten what? ten years, ten months? Doctor: 9... 8... 7...
Age is just a number,
Jail is just a room.
A girl walks up to her friend with sunglasses, she missed very much.
She told her "Hey, long time no see."
my girl is so cute when she sleeps I watch her all the time...................tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time
why did the girls sit on the clock. To be on time
I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realised they didn't fit me around the waist so I went looking for a belt. I couldn't find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waist of time.
My ex still misses me... But her aim is getting better every time!
Q: What’s the difference between me and you? A: I’m not wasting my time reading this joke.
That time when you realise that Osama bin Laden and Carrie Underwood share the same birthday...
Being alive is so expensive I am not even having a good time doing it
How long does it take for a depressed person to change a light bulb? 5 days. & I’m pretty proud of myself.
When my dad left he said he would bring back the milk but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him and he said "I used all the milk to make your sister"
POV there’s a school shooting American first time European yeah you American no not my first time
