Time jokes

One time I looked out the window and then I saw my sister, and she wasn’t even my sister anymore...

The barman says, "We don't serve time travelers in here."

A time traveler walks into a bar.

I poo 11 times a day.

What do Indian and Jewish people have in common?

They both avoid the showers at all times.

Yo mama's so fat that even Dora don't have time to explore her!

A girl walks up to her friend with sunglasses she missed very much.

She told her, "Hey, long time no see."

Yo mama is so fat, when she got on the scale it said, "One at a time, please."

Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, "Who created the Earth?" And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, "MY GOD!" And the teacher says, "Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth." Sally sits down.

Then, the teacher asks, "Where do you go after you live a good life?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, "HEAVENS TO BETSY!" And the teacher says, "Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life." Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around.

And then, the teacher asks the class, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I'm gonna lose it!" And the teacher faints.

What time is it when you cannot do anything?

I did have a good [time].

Chuck Norris was a kamikaze pilot. 12 times.

Dad: Son, I came back.

Son: Where is the milk?

Dad: Time for another 10 years.

I wasn't close to my dad when he died.

Which was good. He died during 9/11.

Your hairline so back that back in the day of your hairline, Burger King was called "Burger Prince."

If a kid does not go to sleep during nap time, isn't he resisting a rest?

Remember, children, when you're hungry at 3:00, cook forks for 10 minutes, ok?

Your future.

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Seven’s been worried about six even since he left Afghanistan. Every time 6 closes his eyes, he sees the war and hears the gunshots. He sees the blood, the killing, the death, and soldiers falling. When he looks at seven, he remembers when they were forced to eat their own flesh to not starve in those caves. He sees the war and the flashbacks will come back forever, burned into his soul and mind.

I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.

What is your favorite time of day?